


Phantom Saints

by LeiBelladonna



Series: Phantom Saints [1]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Personas (Persona Series), Alternate Universe - Saints Row: The Third, Arranged Marriage, Drug Use, Enemies to Friends, F/M, Humor, M/M, Mona's a human, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Persona 5: The Royal Spoilers, Ryuji Says Fuck, Sexual Humor, Yusuke's stomach is its own character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:54:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 19
Words: 25,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25771666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeiBelladonna/pseuds/LeiBelladonna
Summary: Ren Amamiya loved the crime scene. His gang, the Phantom Thieves, started off as a small time group doing petty crime. However, after beating the shit out of Kamoshida and exposing Madarame as a fraud, their popularity exploded. They had video games which included a successful rhythm game, energy drinks, tie in promotions for mobile games, their own brand of candy, sneaker deals, a crappy anime series and a soon to be movie and TV series. As Ren would say, they were Super Fucking Mario at this point. At the height of such popularity, they were bound to be targeted, especially by Masayoshi Shido, the man running for prime minister of Japan.
Relationships: Akechi Goro & Okumura Haru, Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist, Kitagawa Yusuke/Sakura Futaba, Sakamoto Ryuji/Takamaki Ann
Series: Phantom Saints [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2065614
Comments: 14
Kudos: 33





	1. Free Falling

**Author's Note:**

> What happens when you need to fill the void P5R left you after completing it? Playing SR3 then you associate the Saints with the PTs and this happens. Hope you enjoy! :)

Ren Amamiya loved the crime scene. His gang, the Phantom Thieves, started off as a small time group doing petty crime. However, after beating the shit out of Kamoshida and exposing Madarame as a fraud, their popularity exploded. They had video games which included a successful rhythm game, energy drinks, tie in promotions for mobile games, their own brand of candy, sneaker deals, a crappy anime series and a soon to be movie and TV series. As Ren would say, they were Super Fucking Mario at this point. At the height of such popularity, they were bound to be targeted, especially by Masayoshi Shido, the man running for prime minister of Japan.

After a failed bank heist, Ren, Ryuji, Morgana, Ann, and Yusuke were taken into custody. What they didn’t expect was for Shido to bail them out, but of course there would be strings attached.

They were transported on to Shido’s plane where he sat at his grand table with two young women standing at his side, one with brown hair tied in a ponytail and the other with glasses and red hair.

“The fuck do you want?” said Ryuji.

Shido snapped his fingers. “Kasumi.” She set down a Ren bobble head next to Shido.

“We’re the Conspiracy,” he said.

“Never heard of it.” The five said in unison.

He continued on. “It amazes me how a group of twenty-one year olds could establish such an influential conglomerate, but it amazes me more how they have the gall to rob my bank. I would normally let people like you be executed, but I’m willing to make a deal. Sumire.”

Sumire displayed a pie chart. “We’ll take sixty-six percent of the Phantom Thieves earnings as you operate.”

“And if I say fuck you?” asked Ren.

“You die!” said Kasumi, cheerfully.

“Then fuck you.”

One of Shido’s goons readied their gun to Ren’s head, but that didn’t stop him from charging into their chest head first.

The plane’s cabin turned into pure chaos. Gunshots rang out as Ryuji charged towards Shido only get a knife in his shoulder. But he brushed it off and slammed Shido’s face into the plane window. Meanwhile, Yusuke and Morgana fought Kasumi and Sumire. The twins were quick and nimble, slipping out of their grasp at every attempt to attack. Ren and Ann took this opportunity to clear out the rest of the plane. As they were about to enter the inner cabin, Kasumi aimed her shotgun towards Ann.

“Lady Ann!” Kasumi pulled the trigger as Morgana dove in front of her. His limp bleeding body stained the carpeted floor.

“Morgana!” Ren and Ann cried out.

“Oopsies...” said Kasumi.

Ren pulled Ann away from the bloody scene. “Guys, let’s go!”

Ryuji followed suit. Yusuke, on the other hand, volunteered to control the plane to buy some time.

“Do you even know how to fly a plane?” asked Ann

“No.”

Mozart’s Requiem played courtesy of Yusuke as the three punched and shot their way towards the cargo to get parachutes.

Ann pressed the button of an intercom in the cargo. “Yusuke, we’re about to jump.”

“I will be meeting you soon.”

Turbulence got the better of them and they fell out of the plane into the sky. Two guys, one girl, one parachute and an army of goons were raining down. They were face to face with an oncoming plane.

“I got a plan,” said Ren.

Ann looked between Ren and the oncoming plane in disbelief. “Don’t tell me...”

“I’m gonna shoot that window, kill anyone in my sight and Shido and get out.”

“You’ve got to be shitting me, man,” said Ryuji.

“Have fun,” said Ren as he threw the two together to free fall with each other.

“ASSHOLE!” 

He did exactly what he said except kill Shido, but hey he got another parachute in the process. He freefell through debris before catching the two just in time.

“You’re crazy!” said Ann.

“And you love me for it.”

Sumire handed Shido a white cloth to soak up the wounds on his face. He spoke to his fellow Conspiracy members: Kaneshiro and the IT Guy.

“Negotiations didn’t go as planned, but I’ll make sure Kasumi and Sumire send the word out that the Phantom Thieves aren’t welcomed in Japan. Kaneshiro, gather your men and bring Ren Amamiya’s head. IT Guy, freeze their accounts.”

“Shido-san, my name is Daisuke.”

“Do you value your life, IT Guy?”

“Yes, Shido-san…”


	2. Young, Dumb, Broke Criminals

“Today on Good Morning Japan, The Detective Prince Goro Akechi will be joining us to talk about recent events and to make a major announcement. How are you today?”

“Not as great as you,” he said with his annoying signature grin. The audience laughed, including the host.

“So Akechi, what do you think of the recent release of the Phantom Thieves?”

“It sadly shows the incompetence of the police force tasked to apprehend and prosecute them. They couldn’t gather substantial evidence. As a result, I’ve been tasked with taking the Phantom Thieves down.”

The audience gasped. “For such a notorious group, you’ll lose hours of sleep.”

“Haha. Don’t worry. I can catch them with my eyes closed.”

The host and Akechi shook hands. “Well I wish you luck.”

“Thank you, but I would like to end my interview off with a message to the Phantom Thieves.” The audience fell silent. He stared intently at the camera. “I advise you turn yourselves in considering the loss of your partner in your failed heist or else Japan will become very bloody.”

Ryuji turned off the TV. Since they are basically outcasts with no headquarters, the Thieves were forced to crash at Ann’s apartment. It sounded alright on paper, but instead they were greeted with cramped rooms filled with clothing and shoes and a fridge with nothing but sweets. 

“Great. Now we got teehee Detective Prince on our ass.”

“We’ll make them pay for Morgana,” said Ann. 

Ren sat behind Ann’s kitchen counter, nibbling on a licorice alongside Yusuke. “We come back, but stronger. We gather weapons, take their headquarters, get more members, and kick their ass.”

“Hell yeah!” said Ryuji.

“Tonight, Ryuji and I will go to Shido’s armory for the weapons and Yusuke and Ann go to the mechanic for new cars.”

Ryuji sheepishly scratched the back of his neck. “I could tag along with Ann instead.”

She pinched his cheek. “Aw, you’re worried? I can handle myself.”

“But Ryujiiiiiiii.” Ren tugged his arm like a clingy girlfriend, pouting. “I need a strong man to protect me from the guards.”

Ryuji became more flustered. “I-I know, but you don’t gotta say it like that.”

“I take that as a yes. Okay, get your asses up. We’re doing this.”

Ren and Ryuji were able to smoothly get weapons from the armory. The only casualty was the cheap car they stole on the way there. They were able to hide in a shrub away from the pursuing guards while Yusuke and Ann made their way towards them.

“You’re the definition of a cockblocker.”

“It’s about the yearning and the fact I don’t want our chance to get back at Shido to be ruined because you two were banging on the job.”

“I ain’t that horny.”

“Uh huh. Tell that to the toothbrush in Hawaii.”

“Dude!”

They were expecting a car, but instead a helicopter hovered over them. “Hey guys!” said Ann as she waved to them.

Ryuji looked at her dumbfounded. “How the hell you got a helicopter?!” 

Yusuke’s voice blared through the hovercraft’s speakers. “I would advise you to climb up, then ask later.”

As they climbed the ladder, Ren couldn’t help but flip the bird while saying “Hasta la vista, bitches!” The news will have a field day with this one.

“We asked for sports cars, but Ann’s terrific acting got us both of these,” said Yusuke.

Ryuji couldn’t believe it. “Wait so-“

“Yup! This is filled to the brim with sports cars,” said Ann.

They approached the Conspiracy’s HQ which happened to be a penthouse that happened to be having a party at this moment which made this plan a hundred times better. 

“Ooooo that’s a nice pool,” said Ren observing the building through binoculars. “I’ll let you guys in through the elevator.” He loaded his pistol. “Let’s do this.”

He parachuted right into the lieutenant near the pool. He held his gun up to their temple. “What’s the code for the elevator?”

“Go to hell.”

“Real brave for someone who could have their brains blown out at any second.”

“Okay, it’s 3131.”

“Thank you!” Then Ren snapped his neck. He maneuvered through exotic dancers and mowed down Conspiracy members as he made his way to the elevator in the basement. He entered the code and out came Ann, Ryuji, Yusuke, and other followers.

“What a surprise.”

Ann winked. “And that’s what you love about me.”

“Alright, let’s clear this place out.”

Soon enough the Conspiracy members were gone, but there was one more problem. 

“This place is rigged,” said Ryuji.

“I’m cutting the red wire and calling it a night.”

“You can’t just gamble on that.”

“I don’t hold these guys in high esteem for their intelligence.” Turns out he was right, and these buffoons weren’t as intimidating as they seem.

The Thieves were reveling in their new HQ. The fridge was packed with actual food. The place was spacious, so they weren’t breathing down each other’s necks. However, there was one problem: their lack of clothes. Ann resorted to wearing Ryuji’s “No Mo’ Rules” shirt to both his dismay and delight. 

She walked around the living room, arms crossed. “God, why does the AC need to be blasting now?”

“You’re literally walking around here in only a shirt and underwear.”

“So?”

“So put on some pants.”

“No.”

Ryuji groaned, sinking his head into the couch pillow.

While those two were going through unresolved sexual tension episode fifty-five, Ren was itching to target Shido already. But he knew he shouldn’t rush into things because of Shido’s heightened defense. The best plan was to dismantle Shido’s top members then he surely won’t have the means to retaliate. They unanimously agreed upon their first target, Ooe, a politician who’s an avid Shido supporter. Cutting off such a person would work in the Phantom Thieves favor.

They drove into the garage of Ooe’s tower where goons waited for them.

“Just when we attempted to be stealthy,” said Yusuke.

“Aw, but that takes the fun out of things,” said Ren. He threw a grenade at the goons, eliciting screams of pain. 

They boarded the elevator to the top floor where Ooe’s office was located, however, the elevator stopped as they neared their destination.

“What did you do?” asked Ann.

“That wasn’t me,” said Ren.

“Do you really think I’ll make you easily kill me?” said Ooe through the elevator’s intercom.

“Yes.” They all responded.

When the elevator door opened, they were greeted by more goons in a circular hallway which they effortlessly took care of. As they came closer to their destination, they spotted Ooe in the elevator listening to his Walkman while enjoying a cup of tea. He continued to nonchalantly sip as they shot at him. However, the elevator doors closed just in time before they could land a proper shot.

“Shit!” 

A mysterious voice came from Ren’s phone. “That’s an elevator to the basement. Use that orb up there to crush him.”

“Who’s this?”

“Worry about that later. You’ve got reinforcements on your tail now.”

He followed the mysterious voice’s advice and hung on to the orb as goons flooded the halls. “Get this thing loose.”

“Aye, aye sir!” said Ryuji.

Ren free fell down below and crushed the unsuspecting Ooe sipping his tea. “Mission accomplished.”

The team decided to keep the building as a source of revenue. Thanks to them showing The Conspiracy whose boss their popularity returned and skyrocketed, welcoming them back into the public’s graces.

In response, Akechi did his regularly scheduled Good Morning Japan interview giving his unsolicited opinions. “First, violently storming my father’s headquarters and then killing an upstanding man like Ooe. The Phantom Thieves’s tyranny must be stopped!”

“Shut up, mophead!” shouted a heckler who threw a bottle at Akechi. The studio turned into chaos with chairs and water being thrown on stage.

“Cut the cameras!”

Akechi arrived at Shido's office in the Diet building, soaked in dirty water. “That was an excellent display, Akechi,” said Kasumi.

“Couldn’t say it better myself… and you smell like a septic tank,” added Shido.

“I don’t need your sarcasm.”

Akechi grew frustrated with the Thieves popularity already. He would rather be continuing being a part time hit man rather than being a full-time detective. About five years ago, he started working for Shido. The first two years of killing went without a hitch until the Phantom Thieves showed up. They came out of nowhere, exposing corrupt individuals and causing unrest. Shido responded by sending his men after them, but the Thieves raised hell even though their numbers were small. With their recent arrest, Akechi hoped that their popularity would finally die. But nope that’s out the window because Shido thought that an “impressionable” young adult like Ren Amamiya would do his dirty work in exchange for more money and influence. Nonetheless, Shido was still thankful for Akechi’s efficiency in killing since it was the reason he recruited Akechi. And the fact that Akechi being his illegitimate son was public knowledge, keeping him close was essential to Shido’s success. 

Akechi adjusted his gloves. “Can I just dispose of them already?”

“Actually, I have a task for you,” said Shido.

Akechi raised his eyebrow. Surely, he’ll get a task of his interest finally. “Yes?”

“Kunikazu Okumura is looking for his big break in politics and he’s willing to propose an arranged marriage between you and his daughter, Haru Okumura.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“It’s necessary. We’re down one major member so we need all the support we can get now. She'll be living with you starting tomorrow.”

“But Daaaaad!” Akechi groaned.

“Okay, you’ll get something. You can go back to being a part time hitman. Sabotage those Thieves and kill Kunikazu whenever he has outlived his usefulness.”

“I gladly oblige.” Akechi strode out the room with renewed vigor.

Shido called out to him. “Oh and make sure to be a good fiancé.”

“Ugh. Yes, Dad.”

Haru looked at her father in disbelief. “Engaged?! To him?!”

“Yes, I thought girls your age were into the Detective Prince. You should be thanking me.”

“Those are high school girls.”

“Anyways, you’ll be moving in with him tomorrow.”

Before she could further object, her father went off into his room for the night. “If only the Phantom Thieves could help.”


	3. A Hacknette, BDSM, and Ponies

Ren passed his time playing darts with Yusuke at Penguin Sniper. The place was a hot spot for young people to play games in Kichijoji.

“Yusuke, for the love of God, let’s play 301 instead.”

“I prefer a moderate challenge.”

Ren took a swing of his beer. “Alright, but this is the last one.” Just as he primed his dart for aiming his phone began to buzz. He looked over to see a new message.

 **Unknown** : Come to Ichigaya. You’re my only hope!  
 **Ren** : Who’s this?  
 **Unknown** : Alibaba, the one who saved your ass at Ooe’s place. Just come and help me!

“Yusuke, we got a job in Ichigaya.”

They arrived at the boat hideout in the middle of Kanda river near a fishing spot. Luckily, it was late at night and the lighting was poor.

“This should be the time to approach this stealthily,” said Yusuke.

Ren’s gleeful grin was wiped off and he stowed away his gun. “Okay, I’ll be quiet this time.” They snuck around the guards, snapping necks and stabbing them with their katana and knife when necessary. They made their way to the boat’s control room where an orange haired young woman was tied up.

“You Alibaba?”

“Call me Futaba. Thanks for saving me.”

“Why did you contact us to rescue you?” asked Yusuke.

“What a dumb question. Such an Inari.”

“What?!”

“Anyways, I’m willing to join you guys and give you intel. I got bidness against the Conspiracy.”

“The more the merrier. So what you got?” said Ren.

“You can start by taking down Shido’s sex club. One of his top men, Bucktooth England, is running it. You can do whatever to him, but make sure you interrogate him to find Yuuki Nishima. He’s been missing for months.”

When Ren and Yusuke entered the club, they were greeted by patrons with gimp suits. “Ah, it’s that type of sex club.”

Yusuke framed the sight with his fingers. “This subject will truly end my artist’s block. I shall call it: Voluntary Bondage."

Ren led him towards the stairs, away from the peculiar subjects. As they made their way upstairs, patrons on the ground floor gyrated around in their BDSM gear. Above them was a black body brace named “Shido’s Most Prized Possession”. This would be a great time to pour bleach into his eye sockets. He entered one of the upstairs rooms to see a man being ready to be eagerly spanked by a paddle. Ren grabbed him by the collar, pointing his gun at the man’s head. “Where’s the owner?”

“I don’t know, but how about a little Russian roulette?”

Ren loosened his grip on the man. “You’re sick.” Many more perverted men asking for punishment later and they finally found Bucktooth England in his office. “Where’s Nishima?”

“I can’t tell you or else the Yoshizawa sisters…”

“You’re really scared of some ballerinas?”

“They’ll castrate me!”

“I’ll do it right here and right now if you don’t tell me.”

“Okay, okay! He’s in the basement.”

He threw Bucktooth England across the room, killing him. “Let’s go.”

Now the other problem was finding Nishima in a swarm of bound human ponies. “This is gonna be a pain.”

“Not so if the person is wearing a diamond encrusted N on his saddle.”

“No fucking wa-” Ren walked towards Nishima. “Oh, that’s convenient.”

Shouts calling for reinforcements rang from above. That was Ren and Yusuke’s cue to hop in Nishima’s carriage. “Vamanos!” ordered Ren.

The goons followed them out of the club on their own human ponies. Ren and Yusuke fired at the ponies, blowing up the carriages. They arrived at a safe area and ungagged Nishima.

“Sorry for making you drag us like that,” said Ren.

Nishima couldn’t believe his idols jumped at the call to save him. “I should be the one thanking you guys. I would shake your hand right now, but my hands are… sticky.”

Shido was slowly going off the deep end as that Ren Amamiya kept sabotaging his control over Japan. His seething rage started to concern the Yoshizawa twins, especially Kasumi. They didn’t think much when Shido recruited them. Their father worked at Good Morning Japan so running into Shido and Akechi was inevitable. Impressed by the girls gymnastic skills, Shido made them his personal bodyguards. At first, the job wasn’t too bad, but as of late, they were less than thrilled to partake in Shido’s activities.

When they were away from Shido, Kasumi pulled Sumire into a private room in the Diet building. “We need to ditch Shido. At this rate, the Thieves are gonna kill us.”

“But Kasumi, he basically controls all of Japan. We’ll be dead before we even leave.”

“Not for long. The Phantom Thieves are gonna hand his ass on a platter.”

Sumire laughed. “Still we should do this with caution.”

Kasumi waved Sumire off. “I know. I’ll give the call when it’s safe.”

“Kasumi! Sumire!” Shido called out. The sisters sat around the roundtable alongside Kaneshiro.

‘What the fuck are your men doing? Scratching their goddamn asses?” asked Shido.

“Sir, the whole point of the Yakuza is being discreet. We can’t really be that if the Thieves are at their base for one second and invading your sex club the next,” said Kaneshiro.

“They were spotted in Kichijoji earlier.”

“Well whoopsie fuckin doo if I employ grown ass men who aren’t into kiddie games.”

Shido would’ve killed this man on sight. Luckily for Kaneshiro, he provided Shido campaign money from his trafficking business so that made him a worthy member. Shido turned his attention to the sisters.“Could you two do something for once?”

“We have the perfect plan,” said Kasumi.

“We do?”

Kasumi nudged Sumire’s side. “Yes!”

Shido shot them a stern look. “It better work.”

Ren proudly addressed the fellow Thieves and their followers at HQ. “Today, we are one step closer to defeating Shido’s punk ass. With the help of Futaba and Nishima, we’ll surely take back Japan. It’s our time now--let’s get this shit started!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was I projecting my frustrations of Yusuke's 501 rule on to Ren? Maybe... This was honestly one of my favorite chapters to write because of how weird and crazy it gets.


	4. Enter the Hacker (With a Side of Tension)

It was only three days since Futaba joined the Thieves yet she found every opportunity to put porn pop ups on Ren and Yusuke’s phones. Ren bypassed this by turning off his phone. The past seventy two hours was exhausting. A nice day of shut eye would be perfect if Futaba didn’t hack his phone to emit a blaring horn sound. He yelped and crashed from his bed onto the floor.

“It’s 9 p.m.! I don’t know where my Thief is! Come to my place.” She said through the phone speaker.

Ren groaned. “Fuck. My. Life.”

“Heard that.”

Yusuke happened to tag along. Futaba hacked away on her three monitors, ignoring their presence. Her place really was a small room that doubled as a hideout. Trash bags lined the corners of her room while a small pile of manga were stacked on a nearby shelf. The guys took it upon themselves to clean up the room spick and span. She looked around the room upon their completion. “Oh, you guys are here.”

“For the past half an hour,” said Ren.

She narrowed her eyes at Yusuke. “So you brought Inari too.” 

Yusuke held a replica of his katana. “I see you have this. You-“

Futaba swiped the sword away from him. “It’s just any regular katana!” She turned to Ren, trying to play off her embarrassment. “I need to ask you for a favor.”

“Sure, what you got?” In the meantime, Yusuke rearranged the heads of her Featherman figures.

“I’ve been investigating that Detective Prince, but no matter how many databases I access I can’t find any incriminating evidence against him. So I need you to meet up with him and hack his phone. Actually, no. I’ll be doing the hacking. You just have to extract info with this flash drive.”

“I’m the most wanted man in Japan. That’s practically suicide.” 

Yusuke shifted his attention to a large purple dildo and lightly smacked Ren’s head with it. Ren swatted it away.

“Oh right. Forgot about that. Just show up to his door naked with a rose in your mouth. No weapons equals zero suspicion unless you’re into smuggling contraband in certain places.”

“Hell no. Anyways, where can I find him?”

“The streets say he frequents the Jazz Club at night.”

“Gotcha. Time to get my Clark Kent on.”

He couldn’t remember the last time he wore his fake glasses. They were a part of Ren’s identity as he kept a low profile in high school. The awful memories of high school flooded his mind the moment he put on the glasses. Memories he would rather forget forever. However, he was impressed that he still rocked them years later. When he entered the club, he scanned around for the mophead who was sitting at the bar. Luckily, today was a weekday so the bar was virtually empty.

Ren had to fight the urge not to punch that phony son of a bitch across the face. He took a seat to the left of the detective who was busy downing his drink. “A sangria, please.” Ren turned his attention to Akechi. “Rough day?”

“When isn’t there one?” He chugged the rest of the drink.

Ren gave him a worried look. Seeing him like this was just sad. “You should take it easy.”

“What? You want an autograph or something? You can shove it up your ass.”

Yeah he was definitely drunk.

“I know these Phantom Thieves are causing you trouble.” _What the hell am I saying?!_ “But hey when they're said and done, you’ll be free… to some extent." _You idiot!_

“Free? Don’t give me your pity.” He sluggishly waved his hand to the bartender. “Another scotch.”

Ren intervened. “No, no. That’s enough.”

‘You’re not my dad!”

“You ARE a mess!” He led Akechi out of the club before he caused a greater scene. If this got out in the news, it would be hell. The headlines were writing themselves. Mystery Man with Drunk Detective Prince or worse Phantom Thieves Leader Ren Amamiya’s Secret Love Affair with the Detective Prince. Akechi pushed Ren into a nearby alley upon exiting. Ren found himself against a brick wall and a drunk Akechi scanning his face.

He reached for Ren’s glasses. “Why don’t you-”

“No! I’m very nearsighted. Need these 24/7… ahaha…” Akechi scowled. He stared intently at Ren. Ren swore his eyes were wider and warmer on TV, but here his red eyes looked sharper. Not gonna lie, he found it hot. _No, no, no! You can’t be gay for your enemy!_

Akechi’s fingers trailed on Ren’s chin and oh god his pants strangely became tight. _Goddammit me!_ He leaned in closer to Ren’s lips. Fortunately and unfortunately, Ren quickly placed his phone in front of Akechi’s lips. Akechi looked from the phone to Ren. 

“We should exchange numbers.”

Akechi seemed more annoyed than mad. He handed Ren his phone. While Akechi was preoccupied, Ren plugged in the flash drive into the charger port and partially hid the phone in his sleeve to avoid suspicion. Meanwhile, the ace detective across from him was struggling to input ten simple numbers. His frowning face was kinda cu- _Focus, Ren!_

75%... 85%...

“Hey, why’re you taking so long?”

Ren hastily placed a finger on his lips. “Shhh you must be patient for the good things.” He looked down at the phone. 97%... 98%... 99%... _C’mon, c’mon!_ 100%. He took out the flash drive and pushed the phone into Akechi’s hand.

Ren called a taxi for Akechi. “Tell him your address.”

“Don’t tell me what to do,” slurred Akechi. There he is, being insufferable. Ren slammed the door and headed back to Futaba. _Maybe I should’ve taken the taxi- No! No! No! No! Don’t fall for the enemy goddammit!_

He returned to a pretty colorful scene. Futaba chased Yusuke around with the purple dildo as he dodged every swing. 

“What the hell is going on?” asked Ren.

“Inari went and ruined my limited edition Featherman figures in the name of aestheticcccssss. You wouldn’t even recognize aesthetics if it hit you in the face!”

“H-How dare you say that to me of all people?!”

Futaba gave him a smack upside the head with the dildo. She turned her attention to Ren. “You got the goods?”

He handed over the flash drive. “So why are you so adamant to get his info?”

“I’ve had this nagging suspicion for years that maybe he was involved in my mother’s death. There’s no way she would’ve committed suicide like that. He must be in cahoots with Shido.”

Annnnnd his boner was gone. “I’ll help you get your revenge. We’ll make sure he gets his comeuppance alongside Shido.”

She smiled. “Thanks.” She turned to her computer to continue hacking. “Oh and there’s a place in Yongen Jaya called Leblanc.” Yusuke’s stomach growled in delight. “Just mention me to my old man, Sojiro and he’ll give you one on the house. And that dildo’s your compensation. Use it wisely, young padawan.”

“I will, Master Futaba,” said Ren.

Leblanc was tucked away in a quiet side street with barely any foot traffic. The door of the cafe chimed as an older man looked from the TV to them.

He looked at them, wide-eyed. “Futaba really recommended you guys here?” He sighed. “So first the police force and now the Phantom Thieves…” he whispered.

“Police force?” asked Ren. 

“She didn’t tell you? She works for them and recommended a friend of hers here.”

“It’s worked now.”

Sojiro sighed. He experienced countless sleepless nights when Futaba first joined the police hacker unit. Although her identity would be hidden during investigations, it still made him uneasy. It also didn’t help that the sensitive nature of her work meant that she barely contacted him, but he was relieved to hear that they rescued her. “I figured she would eventually jump at the chance to join you guys. Make sure you don’t let those Conspiracy members lay a finger on her ever again.”

“You have my word.”

Yusuke’s stomach growled in annoyance. It was Sojiro’s cue to prepare the coffee and curry. Yusuke devoured the plate within seconds. “That was an exquisite dish.”

“You were THAT hungry?”

“He forgets to eat.” On the other hand, Ren slowly ate it, appreciating the blend of flavors in the curry. Washing it down with coffee gave it the finishing touch. “That’s the best curry and coffee I’ve ever had.”

Sojiro smirked. “Glad you enjoyed it.”

Ren scanned the cafe. It’s quaint atmosphere was relaxing which was a great break from his usual hectic environments. “I take it that you’re not the busiest when it comes to business. How about this? When Shido’s out the picture, I’ll boost the word of mouth and in exchange you teach me how to make curry and coffee.”

“You’re that confident?”

Ren stood up from his seat alongside Yusuke. “Yup.” 

“Thanks for the food,” added Yusuke. They both took their leave.

Sojiro chuckled to himself. “That kid’s really something.”


	5. Hitman Blues

Akechi’s last twelve hours consisted of hurling, headaches, and dehydration. He would’ve choked on his vomit by now if it wasn’t for Haru. All he remembered from last night was being in the Jazz Club talking to someone then he was in a cab. The Jazz Club was his refuge from either a long day of detective work or killing. However, that night was different. Between his murders failing to make headlines and his popularity at an all-time low, he resigned himself to being the depressed fiancé.

He clutched his head and Haru promptly offered him an aspirin. “Here. Don’t strain yourself.”

He reluctantly took the pill. “... Thanks…”

Her smile turned into a worried expression. “If something’s bothering you, I’ll be more than happy to listen.”

He turned away from her. “I’m fine.”

“Okay… well I’ll be tending to the flowers on the balcony.” Gardening served as her escape from her father’s control. Her pink and purple peonies were flourishing much to her delight. She was startled by the sound of the balcony door opening to see Akechi standing there. “You should be resting.”

He smiled. The fake one she saw too often. “I’ll make us something to eat.” That something was gourmet chicken tenders with au jus which Akechi slightly burned. Thirty minutes of torturous cooking later and they were done. They ate on the couch as the evening news played in the background.

“I heard that these go well with barbeque sauce or ketchup,” said Haru.

“You never tried them?”

“No, but they always looked tasty.” Too bad the ones she was eating weren’t so tasty so she hoped some sauce would cover up the burnt aftertaste. However, she did appreciate Akechi’s kind gesture.

“I haven’t had these in years. I couldn’t be caught eating these in front of my colleagues.” To his surprise, he actually had a bottle of barbecue sauce.

They took a bite of their barbeque covered tenders. Fried saltiness never tasted so good. The burnt taste faded which made Akechi look like a world certified chef. Their bonding moment was cut short when a news story in the background caught Akechi’s attention. The video of Ren flipping the bird while getting into a stolen helicopter played. Akechi squinted at the video. He looked like that guy last night. No way he would’ve met the most wanted man in Japan face to face and not arrest him.

_Residents have been reporting late night murders near the new Phantom Thieves headquarters and one of the many striking trends are-_

The report was cut off by breaking news and the broadcast shifted to Shido at Shibuya crossing, ready to give a speech. “Japan, I speak to you tonight from a place of well-founded anger. As you may know, the Phantom Thieves have made their grand return this past week, thanks to the carelessness of our police force. As I run for prime minister, I vow to push out such hoodlums with a new and improved police force. We must rebuild Japan without corruption and rampant violence.”

The broadcast continued, ignoring the previous news story. Just as the murders were about to gain attention, Shido took it away from him. That man had to complicate his end goal like the Thieves.

Haru changed the channel to a sitcom. “You should clear your mind.”

He realized that his fists were balled into the couch cushions. “I’ll call it a night.”

“Alright…” One side of her wanted to believe it was just stress, but another side told her that the Detective Prince wasn’t what he presents himself as.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit shorter than usual, but I wanted to break up the full on craziness with more down to earth moments, especially with Akechi and Haru. However, the regularly scheduled Saints Row style wackiness will be back in the next chapter.


	6. Operation Maidwatch

A nice day out in Tokyo equaled the perfect day to drive and sing along to music for Ren and Ryuji.

Ren started. “We’re no strangers to love.”

Ryuji continued. “You know the rules and so do I.”

“A full commitment’s what I’m thinking of.”

“You wouldn’t get this from any other guy.”

“I just wanna tell you how I’m feeling.”

“Gotta make you understand.”

They sang the chorus together at the top of their lungs. “Never gonna give you up. Never gonna let you down. Never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry. Never gonna…” They paused and continued, rolling their heads dramatically. “SAYYYYY GOODBYEEEEE. Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.”

Their karaoke session came to a halt when Nishima called. “Sup?”

“I got some great news. I’ll tell you the details at my place.”

Nishima’s apartment was pretty bare. The kitchen counters were dusty and barren. The diamond encrusted N saddle laid on his couch for some reason. A small flat screen TV, rug, and couch decorated the living room while a collage of pictures forming his face hung on the wall. 

“That’s one ugly portrait,” said Ryuji.

“Hey, that was from the Yoshizawa twins!”

“How did you even get involved with them?” asked Ren.

“I slept with one of them, but I couldn’t tell them apart, so they made me work as a human pony at that sex club.”

Ren looked at him with a furrowed brow. “They have different hair colors. For Christ’s sake, one of them even has a mole.”

“They had the same hairstyle at the time. How was I supposed to know?”

Ren rubbed his temples. “What did you even call us here for?”

“Maids.”

Ryuji perked up. “Keep talking.”

“Shido has a maid side business with the Yakuza, but he lets the twins run it. It’s pretty profitable too.”

Now Ren was intrigued. “Keep talking.”

“The Yakuza’s having an auction of maids this evening in Ueno.”

“Time for me to be a bougie Yakuza leader,” said Ren.

“Uh no. For this to work, I have to auction you off as an exclusive butler.”

“Fuck. That.”

Ren found himself naked in an empty room. As he walked, the room around him became wobbly as he fell to the ground. “Ooooo pretty colors, hehe.”

Ryuji and Nishima stood outside the room. The latter handed Ren his guns. “I didn’t think you lunging for salvia at the auction podium would’ve worked to our benefit.”

The trio made their way through a hallway where Yazuka members lined up ready to kill on sight. Ren shot at them. “This is Ren Amamiya and you’re watching Disney Channel.” He fell to the floor. “I feel so loopy! Haha!”

“Yeah, he’s way out of it,” said Ryuji as he helped him up.

“Ryuji, you should totally try this.” He charged into a shooting enemy, punching them across the face. “Suck it, bitch!”

Ryuji grabbed Ren’s hand and led him down to the basement to free the maids. 

“You’re handling this naked thing way better than I thought,” said Nishima.

“I don’t know. I just… feel so free.” He disarmed the security system. The scene turned into a free for all. Maids were punching their former captors and Yakuza members were blindly firing out of fear. 

An older maid with black pigtails snapped one member’s neck. Ren snapped out of his salvia induced daze when he realized that was his former homeroom teacher.

“Kawakami?! Aren’t you too old to be a maid?”

“Why are you butt ass naked?”

“Touché.”

They headed to the garage and loaded the maids into the van, driving off into the cool night.

“Dude, are you ever gonna put on clothes?” asked Ryuji.

Ren crossed his legs and put his hands behind his head. “Nope.”


	7. Mom, There's Killer Strippers in the House!

After their escapade at the auction, Ren freed the maids. However, they still offered their services and gave the trio their numbers in case they needed help. Kawakami decided to resume her normal life instead of getting caught up with career criminals who also happened to be her former students. She swore her life was just a series of unusual events.

Nishima was devastated he couldn’t run the business, but at least he helped the Thieves punch the Conspiracy in their collective dicks. It also came to everyone’s attention that his actual name was Mishima. Ryuji, on the other hand, reveled in another win for the Thieves. So of course, he had to throw a party. Everyone agreed to it because they did a lot of freaking work lately. Ryuji invited Mishima while Futaba declined because there were too much noise and people for her comfort.

Ann picked up the cakes while the party started, but unbeknownst to her Ryuji had another idea. Male and female strippers danced throughout the penthouse while Ryuji and Mishima observed their contributions at work.

Ann dropped her cakes at the sight. “Ryuji, what the hell?! When you said you were throwing a party, I thought you meant a small party with the group. Not freaking strippers!”

“We’re the Phantom Thieves. Why would we go small?”

Ann groaned, pulling at her hair. “I swear I can’t stand you.” She looked over her shoulder to see Yusuke finger framing the dancers on the poles.

“Such an eloquent dance with fluid movements.”

“Yusuke!”

A dancer gyrated on him. “So you like breasts or thighs?”

“Wings.”

“What?”

“I like chicken wings,” he said completely deadpanned.

Meanwhile, Ryuji and Ren sat on the couch without any care in the world while the former received a lap dance. Ren ogled the male dancers until he saw the stripper on an unaware Ryuji’s lap raise a pistol to his head. Ren smacked the gun away and karate chopped the stripper in the neck, setting off a gunshot into the air.

“What the fuck?! These strippers ain’t strippers!”

“No shit!”

The penthouse erupted into chaos as the strippers fired at them. The gang took refuge behind any cover they could find.

“You got killer strippers?!” said Ann.

“Blame Mishima. He recommended them,” said Ryuji.

“Dude!” said Mishima.

“Such a waste of fine talent…” lamented Yusuke.

The strippers cornered Ryuji behind the bar counter. Ann wrapped her whip around one of the stripper’s waist and slammed them into each other. She grabbed Ryuji from behind the counter by his arm. “I’m SO gonna kill you after this is over!”

The situation went from bad to worse. Sniper strippers aimed at the penthouse from the rooftops of other buildings. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” said Ren.

Ren and Yusuke cleared out the snipers. As they breathed a sigh of relief, a helicopter with reinforcements arrived. “We’re really gonna kill Ryuji!” They shot rocket launchers at the helicopters. A flurry of explosions later and they truly can breathe a sigh of relief.

Ann was fuming. “For once in your life, could you think with your brain and not what’s between your legs?!”

“I-” Ryuji looked around at the trashed penthouse. “Sorry. That was a dumb move. I deserve to have the shit beat out of me.”

“No, you don’t… but yeah that was really dumb and we could’ve been killed.” She hugged him. “I’m glad you’re safe.”

Ren looked on like a father seeing his dumb son getting married to a beautiful girl. “Awwww!” Mishima attempted to sneak out, but Ren pulled him by the collar. “You better call those maids.”

Shido’s rage was at an all-time high. “Killer strippers?!”

“It was the best we could do,” said Kasumi.

“I should’ve left it all to Akechi instead of you two waste of spaces!”

“Maybe if you swallowed your greed and pride your men wouldn’t be dropping like flies. You just happened to mess with the wrong group.”

Enough was enough for Shido. He lunged at her, grabbing her neck and swiftly snapping it. Her lifeless body dropped to the ground.

Sumire frantically rushed to her side, feebly trying to wake her up. “Kasumi!”

Shido wrapped his arm around her shoulder. “I trust that you understand that she was getting in the way of a perfect Japan.”

Sumire felt as if she was about to hyperventilate. She tried her best to calm her nerves yet her shaky voice gave away her distress. “Yes… Shido…”


	8. Queen's New Groove

Zenkichi slammed a dossier down on Makoto’s desk. “The Phantom Thieves finally crossed paths with the Yakuza.”

Makoto picked up the dossier, flipping through it to see the bloodied bodies of Yakuza members. “Great. This only complicates matters.” 

She was originally assigned to the Phantom Thieves case, but the commissioner removed her from the investigation suddenly alongside her former partner Futaba. Now Akechi was granted full control over it. Makoto fought to keep investigating the Thieves and Futaba’s sudden disappearance, but to no avail. Futaba’s been missing for almost two months and her case was being handled by other investigators, yet Makoto hasn’t heard of any substantial progress. With two big cases out the window, Makoto settled for the third best option: Junya Kaneshiro. The Yakuza boss reigned supreme in the underground crime world, running drug and prostitution rings throughout Tokyo. Shinjuku was a hot spot for trafficking, especially late at night. There he would gather his potential brides for pleasure and toss them into trafficking when he got bored. She had the faintest hope that his case would lead her to Futaba somehow. However, Kaneshiro’s activities for the past two months weren’t connected to her in any way.

She closely examined the dossiers contents. _Ueno_. So the Yakuza were that bold to attend an auction for maids and butlers to the public. She read deeper into the files. Presumably they were with the Phantom Thieves since there were recent sightings of them at HQ.

“At this least this confirms our theory that Kaneshiro is doing sex trafficking under other guises alongside the fact he’s using high schoolers from Kosei and Shujin to handle his drug business,” said Zenkichi.

Makoto nodded. “This is the perfect time for them to expand to other avenues since all eyes are on the Phantom Thieves.”

“Oh, did I hear Phantom Thieves?” said a familiar insufferable voice.

Zenkichi rested his hand on Makoto’s shoulder on his way out. “Good luck.”

“Thanks.” She really needed it now.

Akechi entered her office, smiling. Makoto crossed her arms. “Eavesdropping now, aren’t we?”

“Oh, don’t be hostile, Niijima-san. Our cases have crossed so this conversation was inevitable.”

“Unfortunately,” she muttered.

“I advise you to make yourself useful instead of lollygagging on Kaneshiro's case. You do know what it means when the Yakuza and Thieves come face to face?”

“I’m well aware, but I guess you just want to hold on to your fame a while longer.”

Akechi laughed. “You’re quite the funny one, Niijima-san. Glad to see you’re no longer the pushover. Well I should be going now.”

 _That dick!_ Makoto strode out into the hallway after him. “Akechi!” Everyone in the department turned their heads towards her. Her bravado turned into diffidence. “I... hope you have a great day.” She feigned a smile. Oh, this was so painful.

“Same to you, Niijima-san.”

“Niijima!” shouted the commissioner from his office. This day went from bad to worse.

“Yes, commissioner?”

“You’ve been on this case for months, yet you haven’t made any progress whatsoever.”

“Sir, it’s been almost a month and I’ve just received new information that may be vital to the investigation.”

“Maybe? You better make that information very vital by the end of the week or else I’m dropping you from the case.”

Makoto gave a resigned, “Yes, sir” before departing.

 _Pushover, make yourself useful, end of the week_ played in Makoto’s head as she drove home. No matter how hard she worked on a case something always had to sabotage it. She gripped the steering wheel. She’ll show them who’s useful.

She walked about Shinjuku at 1 a.m. yet the nightlife was still roaring. She wore a short black kimono style dress with thigh highs and heeled boots, hoping to attract Kaneshiro’s men.

“Hey, pretty lady. Where are you going tonight?”

“Wherever you’re taking me.” She wanted to puke.

The man led her to a poorly lit room. “Boss, we got you a new bride.”

She expected Kaneshiro to be a dapper well-dressed man, not a chubby, greasy guy. “Throw her in the parlor until I’m ready for her.”

The man snatched Makoto’s phone and pulled her towards the room. “No, wait!”

Zenkichi arrived at Makoto's office to give her the usual rundown for the day except she wasn’t there. He called her cell and asked around the office, but the last time anyone saw her was when she exited the office after 11 last night. He tried his luck by contacting her sister Sae, who works as a defense attorney in Kyoto. 

“I heard from her two days ago and she lamented about the recent cases. Knowing her she might’ve overworked herself.”

“Guess I’ll visit her. Thanks.”

After work, he rang Makoto’s doorbell to no answer. Her car and motorcycle were still parked in the driveway. _Strange_... He called the commissioner. “Good evening. Niijima has been missing for over 12 hours now. We should notify the missing persons division about this.”

“You really think she’s missing when all this time she’s been sitting on her ass investigating this case?”

“Sir, you give Niijima less credit than she deserves. Plus she’s building a case against one of the most dangerous criminals in Japan. What-“

Zenkichi heard the other end hang up. “That son of a bitch!”

He mulled over Makoto’s possible whereabouts as the nightly news played in the background. He didn’t want to entertain the thought of Makoto willingly making herself a target for Kaneshiro. Her frustration as of late was quite evident and she wasn’t above hastily throwing herself in danger. His head perked up at the screen when the reporter covered the murders near the Thieves HQ. They’ve been occurring for the past week, however, he didn’t believe it. The area near their HQ was a hot spot for supporters. Why would they murder them especially if they’re innocent people? Yes, the Thieves caused carnage, but their targets were individuals who rightly deserved to be punished. A lightbulb lit up in his head. The Thieves! They could surely help.

“No.”

He expected that response. “You have every right to distrust the police, but now I’m coming to you as a helpless person.”

Ren rolled his eyes. “Okay, spit it out.”

“My partner, Makoto Niijima, has gone missing. She’s investigating Kaneshiro, a Yakuza boss.”

Ren’s ears perked up upon hearing that name. “Makoto Niijima? As in the Makoto Niijima who was student council president at Shujin Academy?”

Zenkichi looked surprised. No wonder why she demanded to lead the Phantom Thieves case. “You know her?”

“Yup,” said Ren, Ryuji, and Ann in unison.

“I guess you guys know that Kaneshiro’s involved in sex trafficking.”

“And Shido’s Conspiracy,” said Ren.

“Conspiracy?”

“Don’t worry about it. Let’s save Makoto first. So what’s this guy’s jig? I don’t think taking salvia and getting naked is gonna work twice.”

“What?!”

“What?”

Zenkichi continued, ignoring the weird statement. “Kaneshiro has his men scour the red-light district for young women and makes them his potential brides. He toys with them until he’s bored and then they’re thrown into sex trafficking.”

“Ugh. Such a disgusting son of a bitch!” said Ann.

“That’s fucked up,” said Ryuji.

“Disgusting indeed,” added Yusuke.

“Then the decision’s unanimous. We’re heading out tonight,” said Ren.

“Word of mouth says he chooses between three candidates. If two of you guys are candidates alongside Makoto, arresting Kaneshiro should be feasible.”

Ren grimaced. “Arrest?”

“Makoto’s dead set on bringing him in. Don’t even try to dissuade her.”

“Alright, but this doesn’t mean I trust you a 100% to keep him behind bars for good. Although, I’ll try to be a good boy this time.”

Ryuji looked between the five of them. “Uhhhhh so there’s one chick and four of us. How is this gonna go?”

“I will gladly be Kaneshiro’s bride,” said Ren a little too enthusiastically.

“I’ll be one too. No way I can sit this one out,” said Ann.

Ann tied the black bow on her dress. A classic red minidress with matching pumps should do the trick. She heard her room door open and turned to see Ryuji standing there wide eyed.

“What?”

“I- I-“

Ann pulled him into the room, shutting the door. They were face to face with each other. “You’re so beautiful with your hair down.”

Ann pouted and crossed her arms. “I wasn’t beautiful before?”

“No! No! No! I just mean-“

She pinched his cheek. “I’m kidding!” 

He took her hand into his. “I came here to tell you to be safe out there. I keep thinking back to the plane and Morgana and how that coulda been any of us. If you didn’t come back, I-“ He looked away from her. Ann redirected his gaze on her and kissed him.

They looked into each other’s eyes. “Consider that a promise kiss.” She ruffled his hair. “To make sure I dye your roots when I come back.” The two chuckled and walked out of the room hand in hand.

“Let’s go check on Ren.”

To the surprise of no one, their leader looked pretty hot in drag. However, his choice of clothing was another can of worms.

Ann wasn’t amused by his antics. “Why are you dressed as a punishment cop?!” 

“It gets the attention, right?”

“They’re gonna know something’s up if you’re cosplaying!”

“It’s not cosplay if it’s from the BDSM club.”

“That’s it! You’re wearing one of my dresses.”

“Yay! I mean ugggghhhhhh.”

Before they departed, Zenkichi stopped them. “When you see her call her Queen.”

Like Makoto, they attracted Kaneshiro’s men in no time. “I think it’s the black lace,” whispered Ren. Ann nudged him. He was lucky she could’ve found a black dress that could fit him.

They were led to a strange room without Kaneshiro. One of his goons exited and closed the door behind him. Ann and Ren looked back. “What the hell?” 

Ann began to feel dizzy, stumbling on to the floor as pink gas filled the room. “Don’t breathe!” Ren tried to open the door, but it was locked. “Dammit!” Soon enough Ren felt himself succumbing to the gas.

The goons entered with face masks. “How are you ladies doing? Feeling lightheaded?”

Ann tried her damnedest to fight back against the gas. “You... bas...”

“Oh, don’t worry. We’ll escort you to the parlor to make yourselves nice and comfortable.”

The men ogled them. “We got quite the lookers this time.” The last thing Ann and Ren remembered was being led somewhere by them.

Ren regained consciousness to see Makoto staring at him, worried. “Hey, can you hear me?”

Ren jolted up, startling Makoto. “Ma- Queen! You alright?”

Makoto’s brain short circuited. How did this girl know her undercover name? Only Futaba and Zenkichi knew. Wait... he contacted strangers to rescue her? She examined the girl’s face closely. “Ren?! That makeup, hair, and that black lace dress!”

“Yes, I know I look irresistible. Moving on.”

Ann started to regain consciousness and Ren rushed by her side to help her up. “You okay?”

“Yeah... still a bit woozy though...”

“Ann?!”

Ann smiled. “Long time no see.”

“I didn’t think our reunion would be like this.”

“Okay, ladies you can catch up when we leave. Let’s go,” interjected Ren. He knew he was supposed to try to assist Makoto to arrest Kaneshiro, but after the stunt his men pulled and the fact they don’t have weapons made them very vulnerable.

“Wait! I haven’t got what I came for.”

“I know but-“

“Listen! I’ve been investigating Kaneshiro and your raid at his auction gave me more evidence. I came here thinking I could make him confess, but that went out the window when they threw me down here and took my phone.”

“Well shit...”

“Don’t worry though. There’s no important information on it.” 

“Problem with that plan is that if he didn’t pick you-“

“It would all be for nothing,” finished Makoto.

Ann chimed in. “The plan’s gonna work because we’re the three brides.”

“Yeah... but I don’t want you guys getting involved. You already have a huge target on your backs.”

Ann rested her hand on Makoto’s shoulder. “Trust us.”

Makoto took a deep breath. “Okay.”

A voice boomed over the intercom. “Laaaaaaddddddiiiiieeeesssssss it’s time for the audition! Make your way through the door and up the stairs!” 

“Ladies, roll out!” said Ren.

Upon entering the room, they were directed to line up for Kaneshiro. Makoto would love to punch their faces in right about now, but she had to show restraint for a little while longer. 

One of Kaneshiro’s lackeys closely observed Ann and Ren. “I felt like I’ve seen you two before.” Ann shook her head. “Anyways... introducing the Yakuza king and voted Japan’s top eligible bachelor... Junya Kaneshiro!”

He made his “grand” entrance. If that’s what you can say for a greedy bastard. Kaneshiro looked at his potential brides with glee. “Such fine beauties...” He leered at Makoto’s legs. “Shall I pick you?” He then turned his attention to Ann, staring at her chest. It would be the perfect time to burn him to a crisp, but she had to endure it for the sake of the plan.

Kaneshiro set his sights on Ren and it was like love at first sight. He squeezed Ren’s arms and sniffed his hair. Yeah, he had to break his promise to Zenkichi. There has to be bloodshed. “I advise you to keep your hands to yourself or else they’ll be broken.”

“Ohhhhh. This one’s feisty. I’ll take you.” He pulled Ren’s hand, but he wouldn’t budge. “Stubborn, aren’t you?” Ren feigned a smile and walked with him. “The leftovers are yours.”

Kaneshiro took Ren to his private room. It was dimly lit in the name of “atmosphere”. An annoyed Ren sat on his bed as Kaneshiro tried to lighten the mood by calling him pet names like kitten and honey. Camera light flashes surrounded Ren. “What was that?”

“Just something to document our special time.” His voice turned low and threatening. “Or if you tried anything funny.” 

Kaneshiro squeezed his shoulders and attempted to lean in. “Back off, asshole.”

“Yes! Talk dirty to me!”

Being a kinky bastard made this way too easy for Ren. “Oh? You like that, huh?”

Kaneshiro shook his head like a dog eager for its treats. Ren placed his fingers under his chin. God, he was already regretting it. “Let’s add some spice.”

The announcer led Makoto and Ann to another room where Kaneshiro’s lackeys gathered around them with glee. “Time for some entertainment, boys.”

One lackey approached them. “Are you ladies ready for a good time?”

“Yeah, I’m ready to go. Right, Makoto?”

Makoto cracked her knuckles and neck. “I’ve been waiting for this.”

One of the lackeys peered at Ann’s face. “Wait... you’re one of the Phan-“ Ann kicked him in the balls and Makoto finished him off with a kick to the face.

Another lackey charged with a bat. “Ann, get down!”

Ann pulled the rug from underneath him, tripping him. Before he could get up, she gleefully slammed a chair into his face. “What’s… BONKIN!” They quickly took care of the rest of the lackeys.

“Great work, Ann.”

“That was nothing compared to you!” Ann pantomimed Makoto’s punches and kicks. They then hi fived.

Sumire appeared from the side door with a bag of clothes and Makoto’s phone. They steeled themselves for another fight. “There’s no need. I come as an ally.”

Ann and Makoto looked at each other unsure if they should trust this so-called ally.

“I cleaned things up so you guys should have an easy time dealing with Kaneshiro.” And she took her leave.

“Thank you!” said Ann.

“You’re way too trusting.”

As they made their way to Kaneshiro’s room, the halls of the place were strewn with dead bodies. She wasn’t kidding when she said she cleaned up.

Meanwhile, Ren tied Kaneshiro to the bed with handcuffs. “Ready for your CBT, Junya?”

“CBT?” 

Ren pressed his heel into Kaneshiro’s groin. He switched on the recorder he managed to sneak in. “Some good old-fashioned cock and ball torture.”

“Yes, yes more!”

Ren took his foot off his groin. “Hmmm... no. You got to please me first.”

“If you uncuff me, I can pleasure you all I want.”

“I prefer your mouth to do the pleasure. So Junya am I truly your one and only?”

“Of course. Or else I wouldn’t have picked you.”

Ren cried crocodile tears. “Really? The way you ogled those girls tells me otherwise. Do you have other girls, Junya?”

“No. Well yes. Kinda. But they’re gone so it doesn’t matter.” He feebly tried to pucker his lips to Ren. 

Ren smushed his cheeks. “That’s not enough, Junya. I need to know if you truly love me.”

“I do. I only just played with those girls and threw them away.”

Ren’s eyebrow quirked. “Threw them away? Where?”

Kaneshiro’s eyes narrowed. “You sure are a curious one.”

Ren started to lose his patience. “Are you just throwing these girls into your business?”

“What are you on about?! How about you mind your business before you become one of them? Get in here and teach this bitch some manners!”

Ann and Makoto busted into the room right on cue. “We had to teach your boys some manners first,” said Ann.

Ren threw the recorder to Makoto. “I got you a present.” 

Makoto nodded and threw Ren the bag of clothes. “Here!”

Kaneshiro’s face went from a boy about to see breasts for the first time to the face of a man who just found out someone ate his last chicken leg.

“Yeah, I’m a man, bitch!”

“Now Kaneshiro, you're going to answer to me,” said Makoto.

He chuckled. “What are you gonna do? Throw me in jail? Good luck with that.”

“Oh, there’s better ways…”

“I’ll cut ‘em off,” said Ren.

Ann balled her hand into a fist. “I’ll rip ‘em off!”

Makoto stepped on to the bed. “Or I’ll smash ‘em.”

Kaneshiro struggled in his handcuffs, yet he feigned cockiness. “There’s no use even if you kill me or take me into custody. The Black Mask and Shido will still target you.”

“Black Mask?” questioned Makoto.

“Cut the bullshit!” said Ren.

Kaneshiro merely chuckled. Makoto ran out of patience and grabbed Kaneshiro by the collar. “Tell me who the Black Mask is!”

“I don’t know. By the time you find out-“ Blood suddenly trickled down on his face from a headshot wound and his body slumped away from Makoto’s grasp. The three looked at the source of the bullet wound which was from Sumire with a sniper rifle.

“The Black Mask is Goro Akechi.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who also played FF7R and P5R at the same time when they first released? Wall Market was one of the best parts of the remake so I couldn't resist to incorporate it in this, especially since SR is known for parodying other games. Makoto and Ann's outfits were based on Tifa's exotic and mature outfits, respectively. I also hope my characterization of Zenkichi was alright. I'm too overly familiar with his character, however, I thought it would be cool if he was Makoto's partner. (Still crossing my fingers for when Atlus announces an official release date for Scramble in the U.S.)


	9. Revelations and Reunions

“You’ve got to be shitting me! Detective Shitface was pinning murders on us?!” said Ryuji.

“Yes. I just explained that...“ said Sumire. The group reconvened back at headquarters to process the new information. They knew Akechi was a suck up to his father, but they didn’t expect him to be responsible for murders dating back five years ago. Shido really used his own teenage son at the time to carry out his dirty work. Now that Ren thought about it, there were occasional murders of high-ranking individuals that were swiftly swept under the rug.

“So the media and police are on Shido’s payroll,” said Makoto.

“That explains why the commissioner put you on Kaneshiro’s case and ignored my request to investigate your disappearance,” Zenkichi said.

They definitely couldn’t return to the department. Makoto was more than happy to join the team. “It seems we’re new allies to the Phantom Thieves.”

“We need those fisticuffs of yours,” said Ren.

“I’m glad to be of service.”

Sumire chimed in. “I’m also willing to help you in any way. I’ll make sure Shido pays for killing Kasumi.”

“That monster!” said Ann. They didn’t forget the fact that Kasumi was responsible for Morgana’s death, however, they couldn’t help but empathize with Sumire’s loss. Her composed facade broke down. All the tears she held back flowed uncontrollably. If she said something, Kasumi wouldn’t have died. If she did something, Kasumi wouldn’t have died. If she wasn’t weak, Kasumi wouldn’t have died.

Sumire felt Ann’s arms wrap around her. “But... “

“It’s all in the past. We have to look into the future for theirs and our sake. I’m sure Kasumi would be proud to see your new resolve.”

“Thank you, Ann.” The group gathered around Sumire for a big group hug.

With three new allies with insight into law enforcement and Shido’s plans, the Thieves had an upper hand. At this point, they had two more targets: the TV station president, Shuichi Imai and the IT Guy. Then they would start their assault on Akechi and Shido. Sumire advised that they target the TV president last since it would be an opportunity to expose Akechi and Shido on national TV.

“We’ll leave the IT Guy to Futaba,” said Ren.

“Futaba?! She’s alive?!” asked a stunned Makoto.

“Yeah, she’s at her den. I can take you to her.”

“Thank you. I’ve been so worried.”

When they arrived, Futaba slept soundly at her computer. Ren nudged and poked her to no results. Makoto stepped in. “Futaba, there’s a new GPU on sale!”

She jolted awake, looking frantically around the room. “Where?!” Her eyes landed on Makoto. “You’re alive!” She glomped Makoto.

“I’m glad you’re safe too.” The last time they heard from each other was during an investigation. Futaba guided Makoto through a building the latter was investigating. Suddenly, the intercom between them was interrupted by gunshots on Makoto’s end. The last thing Futaba remembered before being on that boat was being chloroformed by someone.

Ren had to be the harbinger of breaking up reunions. “Sorry to break this up, but we need you to take on Shido’s IT Guy. Plus Akechi’s the Black Mask responsible for the recent murders.”

“Yeah I know.”

“When were you going to tell us?!”

“When I found out, I went into overdrive by working on this VR headset then I was knocked out for 36 hours.” She took out a VR headset from behind her computer. “No need to fear! The Futabanator will defeat IT Guy! But I still need to do a few tweaks, so I’ll call you when it’s ready.”

“By the way, what did you see on Akechi’s phone?”

“Food pics. Philosophy quotes. Gay porn. Sumo wrestler porn. Oh yeah and his texts with Shido.”

“Porn?”

“Oh wait. Actually, I sent the sumo wrestler porn to his phone.”

Makoto was concerned with more pressing matters. “What were in those messages?”

“They were pretty curt. Their phone convos were more substantial. That egghead’s losing his shit by the second and he’s coming hard on Akechi.”

“Phrasing,” said Ren.

“Ugh, you know what I mean. Anyways, turns out I was on Shido’s shit list as well and that confirms those two were involved in my mother’s death.” That certainly explained everything. Futaba’s mere existence in the police force would easily trace back everything to the Conspiracy. 

Guilt began to build up within Makoto. She thought recommending Futaba to use her skills would help her bring justice to her mother, but instead she unknowingly allowed Futaba to be targeted. “Futaba, I am so sorry.”

“Huh? You did nothing wrong.”

“If I wasn’t so insistent on you joining, this wouldn’t have happened.”

“You gave me the push I needed in a dark time and I knew the risks when I joined.” Despite her words, Makoto still had a look of remorse. Futaba tugged her and Ren’s arm. “Cheer up! We’re all here safe and sound and better yet this guy is gonna help us stamp out that bald bastard.”

Makoto smiled at the two. “Right. Not to ruin the mood, but what did your captors do to you?”

“They thought I was twelve, so one goon gave me Connect Four to play.”

Makoto looked at her in bewilderment. “Connect Four?”

“I handed his ass in Battleship, Monopoly, and Scrabble. He got salty and proclaimed that he was the undisputed champion of Connect Four. Big mistake on his part.”

“… Who the fuck Shido is hiring?”


	10. Fight Club

“I didn’t expect roguish men to be your type.”

“We’re just friends.” Ren decided to take Makoto to Leblanc because he really craved curry and coffee for the past week. Plus, she deserved a chance to unwind after that crazy night. The two sat in a booth and ordered the classic.

Since she was a defector from the police, Makoto felt a bit on edge and quite frustrated. To think that she joined the force, hoping to instill change and eventually achieve her dream of becoming a commissioner only to find out they’re corrupt and willing to off her. She was pissed and this didn’t go unnoticed by Ren who saw her fists balled up as she looked lost in her thoughts.

Ren placed his hand over hers which knocked her out of her trance. “Relax.”

She looked down at the table. “I wish I could, but I can’t. The Black Mask is still on the loose. My department sold me out and Shido… he’s going to retaliate I know it.”

“He’s not. We’ve taken out most of his men. We’re cruising through them at this point and from what Sumire said he’s going off the deep end.”

“I know but considering that Futaba and I are working with you guys it’s entirely possible.” She told Zenkichi to lay low in the meantime. She couldn’t afford another one of her partners being in peril.

Sojiro interrupted their conversation when he served their food and brought their attention to Ren’s intimate gesture.

“This is what friends do now.”

Sojiro shrugged. “Sure, they do.”

Makoto was still downtrodden despite the delicious food in front of her.

“There’s better things than being mopey in front of food.”

“What’s that?”

“Punching out your frustrations and worries.”

Iwai sat behind the counter flipping through a gun magazine like he always did.

“Iwai, my man!”

“Hey, kid. What you need?”

Ren stretched over the counter to whisper in his ear. “Punch out.”

Iwai looked at the one customer who was too busy browsing the new gun models to notice what’s transpiring behind him. “Come to the back.” He directed them to Ueno where at night illegal fights occur in the basement of a nightclub. “And remember the first rule of fight club is that you don’t talk about fight club.”

“Okay, Tyler Durden, but what’s the keyword?”

“Cheerio. By the way, I heard from my boys that Kaneshiro and all of his lackeys were found dead. Was that you?”

Ren nodded. “Just be careful and same for the lady,” said Iwai.

“Don’t worry about me. I’m quite proficient in aikido.”

“I like her.”

Ren patted her shoulder. “That’s our Queen.”

Being called Queen by the leader of the Phantom Thieves had a certain ring to it. Before it was just a codename for investigation, but now it was a name that signified that she was in control and also depended on by others. “That’s right.”

They arrived at the nightclub which was bustling on a Thursday night at 9 p.m. Guess no one waited to party on the weekends anymore. Ren told the bouncer the keyword and was led to a staircase at the side of the building.

As expected, the arena was rowdy. Spectators hung off the steel gates surrounding the arena as they cheered on their favored fighter. One fighter straddled the other one and beat them to a bloody pulp. Ren joined in on the cheering. “Yeah! Beat his ass!”

The room turned so silent you could hear a pin drop. “Hey, it’s Ren Amamiya!”

“Ren?! I’m Akira Kurusu!”

“Bullshit! You dare come in here, murderer?!”

“I kill assholes.”

“Yeah right. So explain why my friend was found dead near your HQ.”

Makoto stepped in. “Those murders weren’t our doing.”

“You know who did it then, missy?”

Makoto slugged the guy. Okay that wasn’t the best way to deal with that, but being called missy irked her. Also, blurting out that the Black Mask was Akechi would lead to more innocents dying, especially if civilians decided to take matters into their own hands. “Yes, the Black Mask. That’s the true perpetrator.”

“We’ll surely kick their ass,” said Ren.

The slugged guy got up. “Damn you pack a punch. I believe you lady.” Makoto looked around the room to see everyone cowering in fear.

He nudged Ren. “Some lady you got there.”

“Oh my god! It’s not like that! Anyways, my FRIEND here would like to participate in some matches.”

“Heh. Pussy.”

“Says the guy who was downed by one punch.”

The slugged guy teared up. “Hey, it’s been hard for me.”

“I think we should team up. It’ll be good training,” Makoto advised.

The first round was a two v two. Makoto sucker punched her opponent out cold while Ren bobbed and weaved the punches from his opponent. He took advantage of the opponent’s dazed and confused state and slugged him.

“Nice technique,” said Makoto.

The second round had three opponents, but that didn’t deter the two. One opponent whiffed their punch and Makoto locked their arm in hers and flipped them onto the ground. Ren, on the other hand, caught both of his opponents’ fists at the same time. He was just as shocked as they were by such impressive reflexes. He twisted their fists making them yell in pain before he collided their heads together, knocking them out.

The final round had five men wielding knives. Ren turned to the announcer. “I thought weapons weren’t allowed.”

“They aren’t and I’ve never seen these guys before.”

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me!”

Makoto cracked her neck. “This should be easy.” She assumed her fighting stance and Ren followed. “Let’s do this!”

They circled around the pair and charged towards them. Makoto and Ren ducked and slid under two opponents. They grabbed their opponents by the legs, sending the knife in Ren's opponent's neck while Makoto sent the blade into her opponent’s eye. She looked up to see another opponent lunging at her and moved out of the way, causing the opponent to plunge the knife into his companions back.

“What the fuck, man?!”

“Sorr-” Makoto kicked his neck, breaking it.

Ren dodged the knife swings of his opponent. He hung their knife wielding hand around his shoulder and looked up into their eyes. “Hey.” He uppercutted their elbow, making them screech out in pain and falling to their knees. He then landed the final blow with a kick to their face.

All that was left was a scared shitless goon. He tried to run away from them, only to be cornered by the patrons who promptly beat him up.

“Give it up for our new fight club champions!” The arena roared with applause.

“Sooooo how you feelin, Queen?”

“Quite relieved actually. Although, we did kill those guys.”

“It would've been them or us.”

She sighed. “Yeah… You know what would be nice right now? If we had motorcycles to drive off into the night like in those action movies.”

Ren gave her an intrigued look. “You ride them?”

“I have one. Well had.”

A lightbulb flicked on in Ren’s head. “I got the perfect job for you.” Since Makoto could ride motorcycles, she could teach the maids as well and then the gang could patrol the areas where Black Mask targeted. That meant the Thieves would have more authority and prevent needless deaths.

He called over the maids gathered to HQ where they sipped on rosé. “So ladies, who here like motorcycles?”


	11. A Little Hiccup

Shido sat at his desk, eagerly awaiting good news from Akechi amidst this shitstorm as of late. “How’s the killings, son?”

“Terrible. Those Thieves stole the Yakuza maids and made them into a motorcycle gang that patrols near HQ.”

“You’re afraid of maids?”

“There’s thirty of them with guns and bats and one of me.”

“You could snipe them.”

“I do not know how to snipe. You could’ve given one of the Yoshizawa’s that task. Well the one you didn’t kill yet.”

Shido looked around the room. The last time he saw Sumire she said she was going to buy a new sniper rifle. He didn’t pay her any mind because he was already enraged by the numerous losses. “I forgot she existed.”

Akechi facepalmed. “This is why you should’ve let me kill them in the first place. That’s more believable than killing random people.” He paused. “Dumbass.”

Shido gave him the pointer finger. “Don’t backtalk me and watch your language, mister!”

“You never asked me what I want, Dad! I don’t want to marry some stupid girl. I want to go to the Jazz Club, eat pancakes, and kill people. Is that too much to ask?!”

Shido attempted to hug him, only to get rebuffed. “Don’t fucking touch me!” He stepped back from the two-faced mess in front of him.

“Son, recall everything we’ve worked for so far.”

“You were some nobody bastard who wanted to run for office.”

“Don’t push it, kid.”

Akechi continued. “Then I came up to you and said I heard you wanted to off some people. I could do that in exchange for fame and recognition.”

“Yes! Yes! You disposed of them and then I started to believe you.”

“After that, I revealed to you that I’m your bastard son.”

“And we made that into national news without a scandal. A great way to sell the story of a man who made a mistake, fessed up, and accepted his son.”

“We had those impressionable fools around our finger.”

“Even better is having a son who genuinely agrees with my ideals.”

“It’s because I sympathize with your aspiring ideology. I believed that your ideals needed to be achieved for the sake of the country’s future.” Akechi staved the urge to puke.

“See the young like you gives me hope that these geezers would be put out of office.” Now Shido wanted to fight the urge to puke.

“All those scandals we caused have led many parties to dissolve. There’s no competition for the upcoming election.”

“All thanks to you, son. Together we will steer Japan to a new future without the Phantom Thieves.”

“It’s an honor working with you towards that goal.” 

Both of them fought the urge to puke.

“How about you announce your engagement to that Okumura girl on Good Morning Japan next week Wednesday?”

“Why?” Akechi asked curtly.

“To distract the public from the Phantom Thieves. Your fangirls will be mad and people will fall for the feel good story in a crisis. You just have to continue the act until after my election celebration party.”

Akechi rolled his eyes. He had to cross his fingers that this plan actually works. “Okay, Dad.” He then took his leave.

Shido cackled like a Saturday morning cartoon villain. “Foolish boy.” After he is elected prime minister, he’ll dispose of Kunikazu, Haru, and Akechi. However, he had more pressing matters: Killing the Phantom Thieves.

Haru tended to the laundry so she could confirm her suspicions. She sorted through Akechi’s shirts to find a red stain on one of them. It surely wasn’t lipstick. The Black Mask murders ceased; however, it didn’t mean they were behind bars. When the murders occurred frequently, Akechi came home late from work and when the murders suddenly stopped, he came home at a timely hour. The sudden arranged marriage and now this. Something bigger is happening and it involved the Thieves. She had to warn them someway or another. This was the least she could do, but the problem was how would she contact them without raising suspicion.

The apartment door opened. “Good afternoon, Haru.”

She jammed the bloodied shirt into the washer. “Good afternoon, Goro. How was your day?”

He took off his tie. “My father said we must announce our engagement next week Wednesday.”

“Next Wednesday?!” She looked at him as if he had two heads.

“Yes, we can go shopping for attire this weekend.”

She feigned a cheery disposition. “Okay!”

She unloaded the clothing from the dryer and her eyes lingered on the shirt with a speck of red.

“Haru?”

She dropped the shirt into the laundry basket and turned to smile at him. “Yes?”

“Are you alright? You seem a bit jumpy today.”

“I’m just… feeling really tired…”

“Make sure you get some rest. I’ll take care of the laundry.”

Haru jerked back. “No!” _Oh no, he’s going to be suspicious._ She dropped the basket and fell into his arms. “I worry about you, especially with all the chaos going on.”

He clumsily wrapped his arms around her. “Um… sorry…”

She cupped his face in her hand, eliciting a flinch. “Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you.” He heeded her words and started to relax.

Honestly, she started to doubt her theory. Could someone like him really be a ruthless killer? He was starved from a real childhood like her. However, he acted strange such as evading any questions when it concerned personal matters. Akechi knew where this was going and he put a stop to it. He slightly pushed her away by the shoulders. “I’ll make you tea. Just relax.”

They did the usual, sit on the couch while watching the evening news and without fail the Phantom Thieves were on. _Yakuza boss Junya Kaneshiro and his men were found dead. Again, the Phantom Thieves are the suspected culprits. Coupled with their newly assembled motorcycle maids at the scene of their previously accused murders, it seems these reckless thugs are attempting to be heroic vigilantes._

He scowled and changed the channel. “That’s enough news for the night.”

“I knew they weren’t behind those murders.”

“You’re a believer as well?”

She was treading a thin rope, but she had to in order to be a hundred percent sure. “Yes, they always targeted the corrupt and won’t turn against the people so suddenly.”

“I agree and even Kaneshiro’s murder wasn’t their doing. The wounds in the bodies were precise and meticulous. Any scene where the Thieves were involved was always messy.” 

“What were the patterns for the civilian murders?”

He smiled. “No need to worry. You should go to bed. All this worrying about the Phantom Thieves isn’t going to do you any good.”

That was all she needed to hear, but she had to begrudgingly obey in order to avoid further suspicion. She nodded. “Good night, Goro.”

“Good night.” The moment she walked away the facade dropped. If even a clueless girl like her could figure out the blatant discrepancies in the murders, he was surely in trouble. But no worries, that's another person added to the list.


	12. Revenge of the Nerds

“La Futabanator est complete.”

“Time to fuck shit up… in VR.” Ren sat in Futaba’s elaborate VR setup with a large flashy red chair.

Futaba rolled her eyes. “As if you don’t already do that in real life.”

Sumire decided to tag along since she was curious to see the infamous Alibaba in action. “This is the coolest tech ever, Futaba-senpai. I wish I could do this.”

“No need to be so formal and you’re giving me too much credit. I wish I could do those flips and twirls.”

“I could teach you sometime.”

“Warning, I have very poor stamina.” She turned to Ren who sat patiently like a dog waiting for its treat. “Ready?”

“Not yet. I want to see this blossoming friendship in action.”

“I take that as a yes. Oh yeah and try not to take too much damage or else you’ll die from shock.” She initiated the program, sending Ren to the VR world. An ideal VR world would be a pretty blue-sky paradise that happened to have enemies, however, this one was filled with an ominous red sky that happened to have enemies. Ahead in the distance, there stood an imposing silver medieval style castle.

When he appeared in the world, he found himself as a mouse. “Futabaaaaa!”

She guffawed. “I’ll work on that. Anyways, you should see the IT Guy’s castle up ahead.”

As he made his way towards the castle, armor clad guards with swords appeared and next thing Ren knew he was wielding a buster sword. He slashed his way through them with ease. “Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun daaaaaaa!”

“Okay, that was cool,” said Futaba.

The IT Guy’s distorted voice entered. “Don’t get cocky now. It’s just getting started.”

A large stingray fell from above, almost crushing Ren. “IT Guy’s off his rockers.”

Sumire interjected. “How about we add some extra oomph?” Ren then transformed into a blow up doll.

“Do you guys love to see me suffer?”

“Sorry, Senpai!”

Futaba took over. “I got something even better!” Ren looked at his new apparel which were white gloves, blue overalls, and a red cap with an M initial. “Super fucking Mario!”

“Mamma mia!”

“Just stomp on any enemy or obstacle.”

“Mamma mia?”

“Huh?”

“Mamma mia!”

“Shit, I forgot to program more lines for Mario.”

Ren proceeded through a maze and stomped his enemies to a bloody pulp. He picked off a piece of brain matter off the bottom of his shoe. “Mamma mia!”

“You’re actually worried if you killed people?”

“Mamma mia.”

IT Guy was fuming behind his computer. Anyone else would’ve died by now, but a one man army was taking out fifty of his guys. Just who the hell was that guy and _that_ girl. Futaba directed Ren to a hidden firewall at the edge of the map. He tried to destroy it with punches, kicks, and even fireballs. Sumire did the honors and equipped him with a rocket launcher with confetti.

“Ma-”

“Don’t say a word. She’s doing her best. Now shoot,” said Futaba.

Ren shot at the firewall with confetti and surprisingly the wall was partially destroyed. He threw the launcher towards the wall and shot a fireball, creating a great explosion of confetti and fire. His short-lived triumph came to an end when a King Frost appeared behind him. Cocky as always, he shot a fireball yet the King Frost stood there with that stupid grin.

“Haha! It won’t be that easy,” said IT Guy.

“Think again. Ren, there should be a super mushroom on the other side. Hurry before he catches on.” Ren ran past the confused King Frost. Along the way, the armored guards appeared and with a giant one this time. Turns out the King Frost followed as well. “Ren, smash!” He jumped up in the air and came down with a fiery fist, which single handley decimated the enemies.

“Yahoo!”

“Huh. Seems like you didn’t even need the mush-” Ren ignored her and hastily ate it. He found himself transported to another area, closer to the castle and now as a toilet.

“Futaba!”

“That’s what you get for being cocky. Now disarm his antivirus and he’ll be an open book.”

He ascended the stairs into a new area. This toilet form wasn’t half bad. He shot projectile shockwaves at nearby enemies. Toilet Ren hopped up to the floating levels where the security pods were. “I kindly request a form change.”

“Sumire, do the honors.” Ren mentally crossed his fingers. He now dual wielded pistols and wore a red coat.

“Oh my god! Don’t tell me… I’M FUCKING DANTE?!”

“Um.. you didn’t want that?” asked Sumire.

"My life is complete.” He cuddled Ebony and Ivory in his arms.

“Ugh, but you’re old man Dante,” said Futaba.

“Oh shit! I got the motorcycle!”

“Okay fanboy, remember we’re on a mission.”

Demons materialized around him and Ren pulled out Rebellion. “Shall we dance?” He readied to swing his sword, but his surroundings froze and began to glitch then an error screen appeared.

Futaba cracked her knuckles. “Debugging this should be nothing.” Within seconds the VR world reverted back and thankfully he was still Dante. He ascended up the long path using Cavaliere. “The castle should be right up ahead. Be careful though. IT Guy's gonna retaliate.”

“Come on, pussy!” A large red dragon descended upon the castle, crushing it.

“Holy shit!”

“Haha! Now it’s time to be the little bitch!”

Ren charged towards IT Guy Dragon with Rebellion only to be knocked back. He shot Ebony and Ivory. Nothing. Split Cavaliere into twin buzzsaws. Nada.

Futaba furiously typed. “Hold on. I’ll program Sin Devil Trigger.”

“Let’s make things interesting!” said IT Guy Dragon.

Ren’s movements started to lag. He fought through it and climbed up on IT Guy Dragon’s back. “Hasta la vista to these,” he said as he pulled out the wings off the dragon.

“You bastard!”

IT Guy Dragon breathed fire at Ren which he narrowly dodged, but his coat paid the price. “You son of a bitch!”

Futaba, the savior, intervened just on time. “You can activate it now.”

Ren transformed, now with a devil sword. “Now what were you saying, little bitch?”

“I’ve removed his fire immunity.” Ren threw fireballs at IT Guy Dragon, blinding it. He then repeatedly slashed it with his sword.

“Hack that bastard to bits!” said Sumire.

“Whoa! I second that. Go Ren go!”

IT Guy Dragon struggled to get up. “Any last words?”

“H-” Ren didn’t bother to let him finish and decapitated its head. IT Guy Dragon reverted to his human form and Ren was ready to pierce his body with bullet holes.

“Wait! Wait! I can clear your name and prove that you weren’t behind those murders.”

“Anyone willing to buy those murders is a natural born dumbass.”

“I could make anything you want be under your ownership. From vehicle to weapon manufacturers and I get to walk away.”

“Oooooo the weapon manufacturer sound nice.” Iwai provided them with their weapons for years. However, it was second rate equipment since Shido hogged the best manufactures for himself.

“So all is forgiven?”

“Ummm no. Step out of line and you’ll end up like your friends.”

“Duly noted!”

Futaba suggested yakisoba as a celebration food, but she lost to Ren and Sumire picking pizza. The two gave a toast to Sumire, the MVP who summoned the confetti launcher and turned Ren into Dante.

“I didn’t do much. You two did all the heavy lifting.”

Futaba nudged her side. “C’mon. It was a team effort and you did your part terrifically.”

“And we need to congratulate that A-1 performance back at Kaneshiro’s,” said Ren.

“I will present ZE special treat.” Futaba took out a whipped cream canister and sprayed it on top of Sumire’s orange soda.

“What’s this?”

“Vodka whipped cream. You’re gonna love it.”

She took a sip then chugged the rest down. “Wow, it’s delicious!”

Futaba looked at her, mouth agape. “Holy damn, girl!”

“You’re actually surprised? She just devoured twenty wings, five cheese sticks, a box of pizza,” said Ren.

“But I didn’t expect her stomach to fit in soda too.”

The three laughed and talked into the night. With the IT Guy taken care of, the TV station president was left. But the problem was when would be the best time to wreak havoc on national television?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally, I planned for Dante himself to appear as mayor in a chapter similar to Burt Reynolds in the zombie mission. However, it felt a little too disconnected from the main story. Also SUMITABA RIGHTS! I felt like Royal dropped the ball when it came to Sumire interacting with the other Thieves, especially Futaba. They would be the best of friends for sure.


	13. The Beauty Thief Rises

With Akechi at work, Haru had the apartment for herself which was the perfect time to sneak out. She felt like a teenager sneaking out to a party and admittedly it was exciting. She retrieved a purple hat and black mask from behind the fridge. Akechi barely stepped foot in the kitchen so the chances of him discovering them were low.

Now, the most nerve-racking, yet exciting part came: taking the train. Of course, you would be packed like sardines on a Friday. She expected to get judgmental glares from commuters, but she guessed that cosplayers were a commonality this time of year. After thirty minutes of crowded commuting, she finally arrived at HQ. Her hand quivered as she rung the bell. “H-hi I would like to speak with the Phantom Thieves.”

A disappointed voice replied. “I take it you’re not the ramen guy.”

“No.”

The male voice sighed. “I’ll let you up, but don’t try anything funny.”

When the elevator door opened, Haru couldn’t believe her eyes. Yeah, she always saw luxurious penthouses, but she didn’t expect the Phantom Thieves to inhabit theirs with such rambunctiousness. Instead of looking down on it, she found their attitude quite charming. Even better was that most of the faces were familiar.

Futaba looked up from her laptop. “I didn’t expect Ryuji to have fangirls. You really learn something new every day. Cool cosplay, by the way.”

“Thanks?” She regained her composure. “I need to discuss something urgent.”

“Ren!” shouted Ryuji. Their leader sat outside at the pool, enjoying a pina colada under the hot Tokyo sun. He took off his glasses to glare at Ryuji.

“What?”

“A cute girl wants to speak with us.”

“Oh?” Ren walked to her with the pina colada in hand. “Oooo nice hat and mask. So what do you wanna talk about?”

“I’m… um… Beauty Thief! And I would like to warn you about Goro Akechi and Haru Okumura’s engagement announcement on GMJ this coming Wednesday. I also suspect he’s the Black Mask responsible for the murders.”

“Aren’t you Haru Okumura?” asked Ann.

“Yeah, we been knew.” said Ren.

She immediately became flustered. “How’d you know?! When’d you know?!”

“The floofy hair.”

“Connections.”

Haru gave Ann a bewildered look. “Floofy?”

Ren set aside his pina colada and closed the distance between him and Haru, touching her hair. “Very floofy.”

She felt her cheeks getting warm and hastily took a step back. “That was all I had to say!”

“Are you sure? Going back may put you at risk,” said Makoto.

“He’s currently at work. If I stay here, he’s going to get suspicious.” 

“Alright, be safe.” Makoto handed her a pair of brass knuckles. “Just in case if he or anyone tries something funny.”

“Thank you.” She then took her leave.

“Maybe we should try the masks,” said Ren. He was met with a resounding no.


	14. Beef Bowl Realization

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These past few chapters have been on the shorter side, but don't worry it's all setup for the final act. As always, I hope you enjoy this one!

Today was Ren’s self-care day which involved visiting Shibuya. High schoolers and people looking to unwind on a Saturday night crowded the crossing. To avoid a headache, he wore his Clark Kent glasses. He decided the treat himself to a beef bowl. Ryuji wanted to tag along, but Ann easily persuaded him to stay because she needed “help” with something. Oh Ryuji. He was such a predictable man. 

As Ren passed through, he heard a booming voice outside Shibuya station belonging to a middle-aged man. “We as a country must discard senseless violence and mayhem! Yes, the Phantom Thieves justly target dubious individuals, but their violence will only yield to more.”

_And that’s enough politics for the night._

The beef bowl shop was crowded as expected. Luckily, there were a few available seats to snag. “A large barbeque bowl, please.”

The speech giver from the station took a seat next to him. “A medium beef bowl, please.”

Their orders momentarily came out and Ren hastily devoured his partly out of extreme hunger and partly to avoid a conversation with this man. Upon finishing, Ren rummaged his pockets to pay. 

“I wouldn’t expect a Phantom Thief to be in a run of the mill place like this.”

“Who? Never heard of them.”

The man quirked his eyebrow and continued to eat. “Sure…”

Ren sighed. “Okay, you got me old man.”

“The unkempt hair and glasses aren’t doing you any favors.”

He tugged on his fringe. “Gonna report me?”

“Oh no. I wanted to have a talk. By the way, my name is Toranosuke Yoshida.”

Ren was taken aback by the man’s genuine interest. His eyes narrowed. “Why?”

“Even though I don’t agree with your group’s methods, I want to understand why you think violence is the best course of action. I speculated that you felt like reform itself doesn’t get the job done.”

“You hit it right on the head. At least those big targets are rotting in jail… for now. The man we’re up against killed our friend, killed my friend’s mother, and has all of Japan’s authorities and influential people in his pocket.” He clutched his drink glass tightly. “And those HQ murders aren't our doing.”

“You mean... “

“What do you think?” He took a sip of his drink.

“Come to think of it, his rise to power has been quick.”

“That bastard only knows manipulation and violence. He doesn’t deserve the mercy of reform.”

Yoshida placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. Ren looked down to see his fist shaking. “Sorry about that.”

“Don’t be. You have every right to be angry. It makes me more nervous to see him lead the pre-election polls.”

“This country is hopeless.”

“It could be hard to trust the people to make a good decision, but if they know the truth, they will have a clearer sense of what’s right.”

Ren’s eyes widened. “The truth…” His mind ran on Akechi. One part of him wanted to beat up that asshole while the other felt kind of sorry for him. That Akechi at the Jazz Club looked like someone tired of the bullshit, although he did kill those innocent people and Futaba’s mother.

“Yoshida, do you think someone on the wrong path is too late to save?”

“If there’s still a speck of light in them, it’s possible for them to reexamine and atone. You shouldn’t easily turn your back on those who need guidance.”

“I see.” Considering who Shido is, the possibility of merely using his own son for his ends was likely. Ren’s greatest failure was letting Morgana die because of his glory seeking actions. The least he could do is save someone who still could be redeemed from their own destruction.

Ren got up to take his leave. “Thanks, Yoshida. By the way, you running for office or something?”

“I’m planning to, but it’s a bit difficult due to incidents in the past.”

“Don’t let that deter you. Take it from me. I always ignore speech givers on the street, but you were the first one I actually listened to and not because it was about me.”

Yoshida chuckled, but was touched by the sentiment. “Thank you.”

“Keep at it and I’ll be the first in line to vote and shout my support from the rooftops.”

“And consider me a Phantom Thieves supporter.”


	15. Hollow

Akechi unwound at Leblanc after a long work day. Two days until his engagement announcement and a week until the election then he has free reign to see Shido’s downfall. His brief moment of respite came to an end when Ren Amamiya stepped foot into Leblanc. Ren stopped dead in his tracks at the cafe door. It was like a Western standoff. Ren looked at Akechi. Akechi looked at Ren. Sojiro looked at them, wondering when Ren would sit down and when Akechi would stop playing hard to get before his customers got weirded out and left. Ren soon gave up the eye stand off and took a seat on a stool next to Akechi.

“A coffee, please.”

“I didn’t expect the flashy leader to be in a cafe.”

“Well people’s interests change. Isn’t being only into high literature and trendy food a little too boring?”

Akechi sipped his coffee. “It isn’t if the person next to you is consuming your time with asinine statements.”

“Aw, I’m flattered.”

“What’s your agenda, Amamiya?”

“A little mano a mano talk like that time in Kichijoji.”

Akechi almost spat out his coffee. He quickly regained his composure and slammed down enough money to cover his and Ren’s bill. “Thanks for the coffee.” He pulled Ren by the collar out of the cafe and into a nearby alley, lined with houses.

“So you plan to blackmail me? You surely took long enough.” He sure was smug for someone who’s phone got compromised. 

Ren quelled the urge to punch him. _Remember the task._ “How about you join us against Shido?”

Akechi grimaced. “What? Are you stupid?”

 _Maybe._ “Let’s put our differences aside just this once then you can try to kill us later. ”

Says the person who foiled Akechi’s every attempt to rise Shido in fame and control, yet Amamiya has the audacity to give him the let’s work together then do whatever bullshit. “No.”

“Goro, please.”

A drunken group of men entered the alley. One of them stumbled into Akechi and he moved out of the way, making the man fall on the floor. He got up with a bloodied nose.

“Asshole, you tripped me!”

“That was your own doing.”

The other three men ganged up on them. “You got real balls for a pretty boy.” Akechi punched the man in the throat, making him tumble back into the nearby trash.

He assumed a fighting stance and looked over to Ren. “Are you going to gawk or fight?”

Ren was knocked out of his trance of being weirdly turned on by Akechi punching that guy. “No killing.”

Akechi rolled his eyes. “No promises.”

One man ran towards the two at full speed. Ren held out his fists as the man’s mouth ran right in it. He squealed in pain and Akechi punched him in the stomach. Akechi dodged another man’s clumsy punches. He grabbed one of the punches, twisting the man’s arm. Ren broke the arm using the heel of his shoes. The last two drunkards charged at Akechi and Ren. They moved out of the way which made the men collide into each other, knocking themselves out. They rested the bodies on the steps of Takemi’s clinic. A nice surprise for the doc in the morning. Akechi looked at them in disgust and walked off.

“Hey!”

Akechi turned around. “I already told you. No.” He continued to walk away.

Ren grabbed his hand. “He screwed both of us over. Isn’t that good enough?”

“Let go of me.”

“You didn't deny it.”

Akechi seized up. Ren turned him around, making them look at each other eye to eye. He didn’t think it would come to this, but if it meant that Akechi would understand his side it was worth it. “Shido framed me for assault back in my second year of high school. He was going to force himself on a woman, but I stepped in and that prick said I attacked him. Then I transferred to Shujin and yada yada the media filled you in on the rest.” Just thinking about the incident made Ren’s blood boil so he never told it to anyone aside from Ryuji, Ann, Yusuke, and Morgana.

“He did that again…” Ren could sense the venom in Akechi’s voice.

“Again?”

Akechi averted his eyes from Ren’s gaze. “He abandoned her... and I can’t force him to apologize to her. The least I can do is be the cause of his downfall. Make him feel the shame and humiliation she unfairly received.” He didn’t know why he easily shared that with Ren of all people, but he felt like Ren was someone he could confide in.

Ren held out his hand. “Then I’ll help.”

He wanted to take Ren’s hand. He thought back to Haru. He would hate to admit it, but having people being concerned for him was foreign yet welcoming. Then he remembered his vow to avenge his mother and himself for the suffering Shido put them through. This was something he had to do by himself. If only they met a few years earlier... He looked forward, avoiding eye contact with Ren and walked past him.

Ren took a deep breath and exhaled. “At least I tried.”


	16. The "Final" Countdown

Today was the day. Ren steeled himself for the inevitable chaos after the reveal. The big announcement would happen during the nine o’ clock hour of Good Morning Japan. Makoto drove the limousine to the station since the other Thieves, excluding Ren, were too busy doing crimes to learn how to drive. Futaba intently watched Yusuke sketch something.

“Why are you drawing a naked lady?”

“It’s anatomy.”

“Sureeeeee.”

Meanwhile, Ren sat in the back with Sumire and tried his best not to show his pre-show jitters. Too bad that the limo had a TV. At one point, Akechi and Haru waved at the camera as their segment soon aired. Ren could tell they were miserable under those smiles. He didn’t notice his shaking until he felt Sumire’s hand on his shoulder.

“Are you alright?”

Ren froze up. “Yeah, just a little nervous.”

“Whenever I got nervous before my performances, I looked at my good luck charm and I knew everything would be alright.”

Ren looked around the limo. Makoto chastised Yusuke and Futaba’s childish behavior. Ann and Ryuji argued over what the fighting game series was the best. Some he knew for years and some only for weeks, yet they felt like family. Their chosen family. He smiled to himself. “Thanks. I feel better already.”

Minutes later the limo stopped in front of Good Morning Japan’s building. “It’s showtime.”

“Today we are joined by our lovely yet unlikely pair of guests Detective Prince Goro Akechi and... Haru Okumura.”

Akechi smiled and nodded. “We’re-“

The Thieves burst into the room. Akechi’s face said oh shit. Haru’s face said oh yeah! Ren grabbed the mic from a cameraman. “Futaba, you in the booth?”

Yusuke accompanied her to the booth in order to tie up the TV station president. “All set.” 

The interviewer looked at them in disbelief. “What do you degenerates think you’re doing?” 

Ryuji cocked his shotgun at the interviewer. “Shut up.”

The camera focused on Ren. “Good morning Japan. Today, I come to you to talk about the lovely Masayoshi Shido who I bet is watching to see his son announce his little engagement.”

The audience gasped and murmured to one another. Ren could feel Akechi’s eyes burning into him from across the room.

“Cut the shit, Shido. We know everything. The police being in your pockets. Your little sex dungeon. Rigging the media in your favor. Oh and I almost forgot the Black Mask murders. I know Japan has to be brain dead to believe that we would actually murder innocent people in their homes. So Ren? You guys might ask. Who did those terrible murders?”

Ren walked over to Akechi, bowing down and stretching his hands to present the “Prince”. “The esteemed Detective Prince Goro Akechi.” 

The audience went into an uproar. Ren looked at a fuming Akechi. “You mother-” He lunged towards Ren’s neck, but a shot to his hand from Makoto’s revolver stopped him.

Ren reached out his hand to Haru. “M’lady.” She gladly accepted his hand as he whisked her away from the chaos.

The camera shifted to the stunned interviewer. “... and... we’llbebackafterthesemessages.”

Chaos erupted on the streets of Tokyo. Well if your street was associated with Shido. Citizens set Shido’s mansion on fire while police stations were subjected to the same treatment. Meanwhile, at the Diet building, Shido was locked in his office. He witnessed the mayhem outside. Those bulletproof windows were a great investment right now. _Those Thieves..._ Within a matter of just weeks, they were able to crumble his grasp on Japan and take down his reputation. For years, he built up his political power in hopes to fix Japan’s ineffective leadership. He was naive to think that honesty would grant him a place at the top. After failed attempts at jumpstarting his political climb, he participated in bribery and soon built connections with fellow politicians, police commissioners, Yakuza bosses, and media conglomerates. The day Akechi introduced himself was a godsend. The kid gave him a popularity boost and better yet the chance to eliminate all his enemies. However, keeping the kid who he’d abandoned around would bite him in the ass soon enough so it would be best to dispose of him.

It felt as if the whole country was against him until he remembered IT Guy. Surely, that nobody could clean up today’s fiasco and tarnish the Thieves reputation. Shido called his number, but was redirected to a pizza shop. He tried to contact Kunikazu only to be lambasted for letting Haru be carried away by criminals. There remained one person: Akechi.

“Yes? If you need something, I’m a bit occupied with dodging bloodthirsty mobs.”

“Kill those Thieves.”

“That’s practically suicide right now.”

Akechi was right, but if they were alive for a second longer it would be difficult to control Japan. Killing them would quell the country and make them willingly accept his leadership. “You said you would help me see my goal to the end.”

“Yes, but doing anything to them would backfire greatly. We need-“

“We?! There’s no we anymore. I’m finishing this myself.” He hung up the phone. Right now, he would’ve called the Yoshizawa twins to prep his makeup and the camera, but even they were gone. He was alone. Despite that he would make sure to bring down the Thieves at any cost.

The Thieves toasted champagne and soda (for Ryuji’s baby palate) amongst themselves. With Shido and his conspiracy being exposed, they could go in for the kill on Election Day next Tuesday. In the meantime, they would expand their arsenal, especially for their newest member, Haru. Thanks to IT Guy’s manufacturing offer, getting a top-notch axe and grenade launcher was quite easy.

“Um... you sure you're good wielding that?” asked Ryuji.

“Yeah!” She took up the axe and brought it down on a nearby coffee table.

“Whoa, that’s amazing!” said Ann.

Haru giggled. “Thanks.”

Thank god Makoto stood at the other side of the room or else her blushing mess of a face would be the center of attention. Futaba nudged her side. “Strong, but cute girls suit you.”

“N-no! She’s just...” She looked over at Haru receiving praise from the other Thieves. The two made eye contact and Haru smiled at her. Makoto awkwardly waved back.

“You’re totally gay for her.”

“Futaba!” She pushed Makoto towards Haru.

“You need to loosen up.” Makoto looked back, protesting against Futaba’s insistence until she noticed that she was a foot away from Haru.

“Oh, Mako-chan!”

“Mako-chan?”

“We should talk somewhere more private.” They went away from the rowdy bunch to sit at the bar. “I wasn’t expecting us to meet again under these circumstances, but I’m glad.”

“Same. Although, we didn’t talk much in high school.” _Great way to make it awkward._ She pivoted the conversation in another direction. “So how’s gardening?” God, she wanted to internally cringe.

“It was going quite well as always.” Haru’s smile faded into a downcast expression. “This might be sudden, but... did you feel conflicted about leaving?”

“I didn’t really have time to be. When I realized the corruption and how willing they were to throw me under the bus I knew I had to leave.”

“I see. I felt uncertain about what I did, but hearing you say that makes me feel better. Going against Shido means opposing my father as well. I don’t want him getting caught in the crossfire.”

Makoto rested a hand on her shoulder. “I’m sure you can get through to him.”

Haru smiled. “Thanks, Mako-chan.”

The evening news started and to everyone’s surprise Shido stood center stage at Shibuya’s crossing. “People of Japan, I know these last few hours have been unnerving. The Phantom Thieves have terrorized Japan and still continue to, especially with the slander on Good Morning Japan. The men they killed were upstanding and wanted to see a new Japan, but they may now never see their wishes come to fruition. We must start with the youths to craft a better Japan. They are corrupted by this glamourization of violence and disorder. We as a country need law and order more than ever and to achieve that the Phantom Thieves must be eradicated... at any costs.” Shido ended the speech by glaring at the camera.

Ren turned off the TV. That glare was a warning. 

“Any costs? There’s no way-“ A sudden explosion shook the building, interrupting Makoto.

“Everyone go to the helipad!” directed Ren. Before they could reach there, a bomb dropped down, blowing them back. They tried to regain the strength to get back up, but another bomb dropped from above. The last thing Ren remembered was screams and his friends calling out each other’s names.

Everything went dark.

Quiet.


	17. An Unwanted Respite

_The Phantom Thieves are reported dead._

Mishima couldn’t believe his eyes. No way could they be dead. This had to be a cruel joke. He called Ren and paced around his apartment. No answer. He called Ryuji. Nothing. He then tried Kawakami. She quit the maid business as soon as she had the chance, but she decided to give Ren and Mishima her number in case they needed anything. She warned Mishima in particular to not call her unless it was an urgent matter.

“I heard. Meet me at Leblanc in Yongen Jaya. We’ll brainstorm something.” He didn’t expect her to be on the same page as him, but nonetheless it gave him hope.

When he arrived, Kawakami sat at a booth with a cup of tea in front of her. She slid the cup towards Mishima. “Here. It’s chamomile.”

“Thanks.”

“To think that he would actually try to kill them. He’s not even hiding his true nature at this point.”

“I can’t accept the fact that they’re dead, but that’s just wishful thinking.”

Sojiro placed a plate of curry in front of her and Mishima. “A pretty lady shouldn’t stress herself.” Mishima felt like a kid intruding on his parent’s lovey dovey moment.

“Thanks, but I didn’t order any,” she said.

“Don’t worry it’s on the house. Any ally of the Thieves is a friend of mine.” He sighed. “I refuse to believe Futaba is dead.”

Their heads turned to the cafe’s TV when the news reported that no bodies were found at the scene of the bombing.

A brief interview with Yoshida played live from Shibuya. “Shido attempted to silence the truth, but it’s too late. It’s no stretch to say that he bombed the Thieves when exposed. Japan is tired of the corrupt and Masayoshi Shi-“

_Apologies. It seems we’re experiencing technical difficulties._

“He’s going to be a target,” said Mishima.

An idea came to Kawakami. “Wait, he's that speech giver at Shibuya square. Maybe we could ask for his help to campaign for the Phantom Thieves.”

Sojiro and Mishima looked at her as if she had three heads. “How would that work?” asked Mishima.

“You know like...” She scratched her head. “Shit... even with all that espresso my brain’s fried.”

“Mmm actually you’re on to something. No sane person who’s not in Shido’s pocket would vote for him. So we rally the people to destroy voting sites where his followers would vote. I can get the word out on the Phan Site,” said Mishima.

“Phan Site?” asked Sojiro.

“It was just some website I created in college. Haha... It didn’t get any traction..." He continued on. “Yoshida can also spread the word in Shibuya. Shido would definitely retaliate, but luckily, we got Iwai.”

“Let’s sabotage that son of a bitch,” said Kawakami.

Protestors crowded Shibuya for a second day. Some shouted “Fuck Shido and Goro Akechi” while holding signs with X’s over their faces. Some chanted “We’ll take your heart, Shido”. In the crowd, Yoshida walked with the protestors. Mishima intercepted his path. “Yoshida-san!”

“Ah! You almost gave me a heart attack!”

“We need to talk,” said Kawakami as she dragged him into Iwai’s shop.

Iwai looked up from his magazine to see the three barge in. “Hey!”

“We need your shop to discuss something. About the Phantom Thieves.”

Iwai took a peep outside before turning the sign to closed. “If you need my guys, they can’t do much against Shido. He has goons in the shadows.”

“No need... for now,” said Kawakami. Mishima explained the plan which Iwai and Yoshida agreed to. They started it the next day and it quickly gained traction. Protestors wasted no time destroying the voting sites and they soon turned their attention to the houses of Shido’s supporters.

Although the plan seemed to work well so far, Sojiro started to doubt if Futaba and the others were alive. He went to the rubble that was HQ and after almost a week of digging there was still no sign of them. He tried to keep up his usual demeanor at the cafe in order to avoid suspicion but holding in those emotions took a toll on him. Another day of rubble and yet nothing found. He started to make his way to his car until a voice called out to him.

“Sojiro Sakura?” He turned around to see a tall man with black hair and glasses. “I’m Zenkichi Hasegawa.”

Sojiro looked at him from top to bottom. He looked awfully like Shido’s brother. If that bastard even had one. Without hesitation, Sojiro lifted his fist at him.

Zenkichi waved his hands frantically. “I’m not with him!” Sojiro hesitantly lowered his fist to let him explain himself.

“I know... well knew your daughter through a colleague of mine named Makoto Niijima.” Sojiro loosened up. “I didn’t talk to Futaba much, but she was a great young lady.”

“I could say the same for Makoto.”

Zenkichi broke the ensuing silence between them and rested his hand on Sojiro’s shoulder before departing. “Take care.”

The stench of raw sewage greeted Ren as he woke up. He opened his eyes to see Ann beside him and an unconscious Ryuji on top of them. Ren checked his pulse which was slow. _Thank god._ He lightly tapped Ryuji’s shoulder and he stirred awake.

“Ren! Ann!” He jumped up like a little puppy. “Ow ow shit!” He grabbed his shoulder. 

“Take it easy,” said Ren.

“I think my shoulder is dislocated.”

“You always gotta be so noisy?” They looked over to Ann slowly getting up.

“You okay?” asked Ryuji.

“Don’t worry about me. Look at your shoulder.” She looked to Ren, touching his forehead. “And your face. It’s all bloodied.”

Ren swatted her hand away. “Okay mom.” The three giggled amongst themselves. “Let’s go find the others.”

Their shouts for the others were futile. Ren tried to stave off his thoughts about the worst. Ruined clothes, chandeliers, and furniture were strewn about. Ann swore she saw clothes melting in the water.

“Smells like shit,” said Ryuji.

“No shit,” said Ren.

Ren and Ryuji cautiously took apart the rubble. They peered through a hole to see Sumire, Makoto, and Haru gaining consciousness.

“Guys! Are you alright?” Ryuji rushed over to them.

Haru held her head. “My head just hurts a little.”

Sumire, on the other hand, was more concerned about Ryuji’s shoulder. “Here let me fix it.” Without getting an okay from him, she promptly relocated it.

“Shit! That hurted.”

“Sorry!”

“Nah, don’t be.” He rolled his newly healed shoulder. “Thanks a bunch.”

“No problem. I’ve dislocated mine so many times relocating it became second nature.”

“Futaba! Futaba!” She opened her eyes to see a fuzzy mop of blue hair in front of her. Curse her nearsightedness.“Oh right! Your glasses. They're a bit damaged though.” Yusuke put them on her. The world around her became clearer yet fractured and he was just inches away from her face.

“Ah!” She jerked back from him.

He became confused. “You’re all red. Are you alright?”

She adjusted her frames like those cool guys in anime in a sorry attempt to play off her flustered state. “Yeah, yeah. We need to look for the others.” She futilely tried to push away the debris. Yusuke jabbed at debris with the purple dildo. 

“It’s budging this time.”

“Phrasing.”

Thanks to their lanky bodies, they were able to slip through the small opening. Yusuke helped Futaba through, but unbeknownst to him two alligators gathered behind him. “Yusuke, look out!” Futaba took up the dildo and whacked the alligators into the sewer water, where they instantly dissolved. “Futaba the Dildo Master 2, Alligators 0”

“Nice work, Futaba.”

She turned into a blushing mess. “I-it’s nothing.”

They dug through piles of rubble and called out for the others' names. “I hope they’re okay. If they’re gone then...” She balled up her fists. “I don’t know how I’ll live knowing that bastard Shido took people away from me again.”

Yusuke held her hand. “We’ll find them and we’ll defeat Shido. I promise you that.”

Her heart started thumping in her ears. There’s no way she was falling for Inari of all people. The only reason she caught on so fast to her own feelings thanks to all those romance talks with Makoto. She took a deep breath to calm herself. This wasn’t the time to be acting like a lovestruck teenage girl. Her mission now was to find her friends. She exhaled and nodded. “Right!”

“I swear to God if there’s one more alligator!” said Ryuji.

“I don’t know man. Makoto is still revved up for more,” said Ren.

“Are you tryin’ to call me a pussy?” 

“Maybe.”

“Heh. Well I am what I eat.”

“Ryuji!” Everyone yelled.

“Now the image of Ryuji doing... _that_ is etched into my brain,” said Makoto.

Sumire leaned against a wall. “We should take a short re- AHHHHHHHHH!” The wall crumbled from behind her. When the dust from the debris settled, she looked up to see Yusuke and Futaba. 

“Sumire!” Futaba helped her up by the hand. 

“I’m so glad you guys are alright.”

“Now that the gang’s back. Let’s start the counterattack,” Ren said.

In a makeshift meeting area, they sat in a circle to discuss their next move: getting the hell out of this place. It seemed nearly impossible without any cell phones or weapons. So that meant getting crafty with whatever was strewn about. They decided to split into three groups: Ann, Ryuji and Futaba, Makoto, Yusuke, and Sumire, and Ren and Haru.

Futaba searched for an unbroken bottle for a Molotov with no luck. Meanwhile, Ryuji and Ann found success by finding a piece of clothing and a SMG with incendiary bullets. However, they also needed a flammable liquid. They highly doubt a perfect bottle of alcohol would be down here so a trail of alcohol would be the next best thing. Meanwhile, Makoto, Yusuke, and Sumire searched for other paths to exit through. Any sewer gate spewing liquid was an instant no. 

Ren and Haru searched for her grenade launcher. “Ren, how are you holding up?”

The question caught him off guard. “Huh? Oh...” He never thought about reflecting about how he felt. He always kept pushing through whenever anything happened. 

She rested her hand on his shoulder. “We should take a break.”

They sat on a pile of rubble in silence. The atmosphere was almost perfect. Except for the fact that the sewers smelled like Akechi’s coffee (in Haru’s words) and shit (in Ren’s words) and the million specs of dust surrounding them. Ren broke the silence. “I’m... not fine...”

“Ren...”

“To be honest, I never was. I couldn’t just swallow my pride on that plane. Instead I had to be a prick who let his friend die. Then l went out for revenge, but... I almost got all of us killed and Akechi...” He faintly chuckled. “That son of a bitch.”

“You’re too hard on yourself. You’ve inspired so many people. Even me.”

Ren’s head perked up. “Really?”

She nodded. “For years, I’ve felt trapped under my father’s thumb, especially since he’s been overcome with greed. Hearing about you taking down Kamoshida, Madarame and Shido’s men gave me hope. Hope that justice still exists and maybe my father would realize the error of his ways.”

Ren rubbed the back of his neck. “I never thought of what I did like that. After high school, I just kinda said screw it and did whatever. Not thinking what the hell people thought.” 

“I wish I had that attitude. Back at Shujin, I didn’t believe the rumors and I wanted to talk with you, but I cared more about my father’s reputation.”

“Now you need to stop beating yourself up. We were teenagers. Of course we would do things to please adults. It’s all water under the bridge.”

“But-“

“No buts. Well… maybe you could’ve thrown some fertilizer at those jerk offs for fun.”

She giggled, but the moment of levity quickly faded. “I would understand why you would hate Akechi, but a part of me sympathizes with him. I shouldn’t yet I can’t help it.”

“I feel the same way.” She looked at him with wide eyes. “After you told me about the announcement, I tried to reach out to him one more time.”

“Not even you could get through to him...”

“He’s determined to take down Shido, but knowing Shido I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s planning to kill his own son.” 

Haru looked at Ren with a glint of determination in her eyes. “We’ll bring him to justice! For Akechi, all the people Shido made suffer, and Japan!”

“Hell yeah! Now let’s find that grenade launcher!”

The gang reconvened with a few explosives.

“We gotta make the most out of these,” said Ren.

“And this dildo,” said Futaba, whacking it at Ryuji. 

“Hey! What the hell?!”

“That’s karma for the terrible pussy joke,” said Ann.

They spent the next three hours blowing away the debris and digging through with the dildo. A peek of the nightlight shone through an opening of the rubble.

“Holy shit!” Ren hacked away at the remaining rubble with the dildo. When they reached the outside all of them breathed in the fresh air like their lives depended on it.

“Hallelujah!” shouted Futaba.

Their new problem was finding a safe area. If they were seen by Shido that would equal instant death. They ran through all their options and decided it would be too risky. Anyone who had any immediate ties would be killed. Ann knew one person who would be off Shido’s radar.

“There’s Shiho, but... I don’t want to put her at risk.” 

“Japan thinks we’re dead so as long as we disguise ourselves and keep a low profile, we should be fine. Now how are we gonna get to her?” said Ren.

“I got this.” Makoto whistled and within seconds the maid motorcycle gang pulled up with a brown-haired maid with twintails leading them.

“Oh my god, Makoto?! I thought you were dead!” said Clara.

“It’s going to take a lot more than that to get rid of us. Anyways, we need you to take us somewhere.”

Ann’s body tensed up as she raised her hand to knock on Shiho’s apartment door. She felt like shit coming to her friend of all times like now. Since Shiho transferred from Shujin in their second year, they’ve been communicating long distance. However, becoming a Phantom Thief meant cutting off ties to protect those you love. After everything they’ve been through at Shujin, she couldn’t live with herself if she was the cause of Shiho’s death.

She felt Ryuji’s arm around her shoulder. “You could do it.” 

She smiled at him and knocked on the door. Ann braced herself for a scolding. Instead she met eyes with a Shiho who was violently coughing up her croissant. She pulled Ann inside the apartment and the others quickly followed.

“Holy shit! Is this the ghost of Ann Takamaki?!” She squeezed and stretched out Ann’s cheeks. 

“Ish meeeee!”

Shiho threw her arms around Ann’s neck. “When I saw the news, I thought I lost you. I’m so glad you’re safe.” She looked behind Ann to see Ryuji and Ren. 

She squealed and hopped on them. “Good to see you too,” said Ren, patting her on the back.

“Whoa you guys look-“

“Like shit? Yeah,” said Ryuji.

“I was gonna say dusty, but that works too. Just make yourselves comfortable in the meantime. I’ll get you some drinks.”

Ann followed her into the kitchen and sat at the island. “Shiho, I’m so sorry for doing this.”

Shiho took out a bottle of lemonade and poured it out in glasses. “What are you sorry for?”

“I didn’t even bother to talk to you in years and now I came back only to put you in danger. You don’t have to do this. You could’ve turned us away and I would’ve completely understood.”

Shiho stopped pouring the juice. “Ann, this is the least I could do. For Christ sake, you put that piece of shit Kamoshida in jail. I owe you.”

Ann shook her head. “This isn’t the time to play hero. Shido’s ruthless.”

Shiho continued to nonchalantly pour out the lemonade. “I know. That’s why Iwai’s guys are nearby.”

“Huh?”

“Mishima made sure to let me know he was associated with the Phantom Thieves and that meant the Yakuza would be protecting me 24/7.” Shiho went back in the fridge for a bottle of hard lemonade and slid it towards Ann. She took up the tray of glasses and started to walk towards the living room. “After all of this is over, we could go on a shopping date and have your boyfriend carry the bags.”

Ann almost choked on her lemonade. “How'd you know?”

“It was only a matter of time.” She winked and went on to serve the lemonade to the Thieves.

“Thank you, Shiho.”

“Anything for you, Ann.”

Cleaned up and well hydrated the team planned their next step: restock on weaponry. Shiho informed them about Mishima’s plan to ruin Shido’s voting results. However, the group agreed there only so much that plan could do so a backup plan was created. If Shido wins, they’ll take the fight to him at his inauguration party. Ann volunteered to prepare clothes for the group while Futaba had other ideas.

One night Shiho walked to the kitchen for a late night snack to see Futaba on the living room floor with tools littering the floor.

Shiho rubbed crud out of her eyes. “What are you doing?”

“Making some bombs.”

Shiho sipped on her chocolate milk. “Cool, cool.”

“Worst. Watch party. Ever.” proclaimed Ryuji.

The gang huddled around the TV to watch the results while munching on popcorn and soda. Even with their allies’ efforts to screw over Shido’s election chances, he still received votes and won by a landslide. They expected Shido to pull strings at the last second, but it was still bullshit.

Ren loaded his pistol. “Well I got my glock.”

“I have my katana.”

“And my axe.”

Ann popped out from the back. “And these clothes!” She waited for this moment. Ren’s outfit was a red coat with gold accents and white cuffs paired with a black pants. Makoto had a simple long blue dress with hip jewelry and a leg slit. Haru’s strapless dress was white with a blue flower pattern and blue choker with a golden heart. Futaba’s was a black minidress with a green bow, green stripes on the side, and cuffed sleeves with a pair of thigh high socks. 

“I kinda went overboard with yours.” Sumire’s outfit was a black strapless minidress with white floral patterns and detached sleeves with red accents.

“This is lovely.”

Yusuke’s outfit was a dark blue tailcoat with matching dress pants while Ann had a long red dress with black and gold accents at its hems, black heels, and a cat scrunchie.

Ryuji had a black and white hoodie attached to a tailcoat with yellow inside with black pants. To say he loved it was an understatement. “This fuckin' sweet!” He lifted Ann and spun her around in his arms. “Best girlfriend ever.”

With their gear and outfits, all that was left was to strike their prey when he least expected it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Classes recently started for me so I couldn't do the usual daily update. But I aim to post the remaining chapters each Friday from now on. For the outfits, I based Ren and Ryuji's off of their third tier persona designs. Makoto's one is from the Masquerade Party event. 
> 
> Futaba's outfit is based on Ann's concept costume art: https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/megamitensei/images/4/46/Panther_Concept_Art.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20191117110351
> 
> Haru's dress came from some lovely fanart: https://twitter.com/capybarasoup/status/954157952654458880?s=20
> 
> Sumire's one is from a Rokuro Saito artwork: https://www.reddit.com/r/ChurchOfKasumi/comments/fe1vtp/found_this_beauty_in_the_playstation_december/
> 
> Shout out to my friend who beta read this and suggested Ann and Yusuke's outfits when my brain became fried to think of something.
> 
> The next chapter will be very interesting. ;)


	18. The One Where We Kill the Son of a Bitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE MOMENT YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR IS HERE!

_Masayoshi Shido is Japan’s new prime minister._

All those months of campaigning and dealing with those damned Thieves paid off. Japan was his country and he had full control to steer it in his direction. Soon the Prime Minister’s Official Residence would be his new home.

“Congratulations, father,” said Akechi.

“It was all thanks to you. We’ll address our Japan tomorrow morning.” Shido pulled Akechi into an awkward hug. “All is forgiven for your slip up. Make sure that never happens again.” He stepped back to look directly at Akechi.

“I apologize. It surely won’t happen again.”

His smile thinly hid the malice under it. “Good. Well good night.”

Shido’s downfall was nigh yet Akechi greatly anticipated it as expected. Yes, he wanted the bastard to pay for his crimes, but thinking back to Ren and Haru, was this all worth it? Maybe if he took Ren’s hand, they would’ve been alive. He pushed the thought out of his head. Now shouldn’t be the time to doubt himself. His eyes landed on a miniature figure of Shido in a boat. He looked at it in contempt and crushed it, which revitalized his drive for revenge.

Shido’s supporters gathered in the hall of the Prime Minister building. Considering that citizens were up in arms about Shido’s win it would be best to hold his victory speech indoors. The elite packed the hall with flute glasses in tow while some including Akechi sat behind the podium as Shido gave another self-righteous speech.

“Citizens of Japan, we did it. We chose the virtuous path of upholding a just and safe Japan for our youths. I vow to guide this country on this path. As thanks for the immense support I’ve received, I will be having a party tonight upon my cruise ship. Thank you once again.”

Everything fell into place for Akechi and Ren. The target played right into their hands.

Pretentious blabber, fancy food, and clattering glasses filled the upper deck of the ship. Shido talked to his remaining suck ups in the center of the deck. Their rambunctious laughter managed to overshadow even the piano arrangement playing. 

Meanwhile, Akechi occupied himself by speaking with the police commissioner. 

The commissioner swirled his martini. “I’m glad that Niijima is out of our hair. Although, I gotta admit her and especially that Ren Amamiya did a lot more than what we did in years.”

Akechi staved off the urge to jam a broken glass in the commissioner’s throat. No way his years as a hitman would be undermined by some geezer who sits at his desk barking orders twelve hours a day. He sipped his glass of champagne to mask his annoyance. “I guess if one person wasn’t doing the heavy work more would’ve been done. Nonetheless, the Thieves are gone so be grateful.” 

He walked away from the commissioner to the nearby buffet to get a plate of sashimi. What he didn’t expect was Kunikazu right there next to him.

“Hello, Akechi.” Venom dripped from his voice.

Akechi tried to keep a dignified composure. He was dreading looking at Kunikazu face to face after that day. “Hello, Okumura-san. Again, I’m sorry for your loss. I miss her as well.”

“Not sorry enough if you were so busy trying to kill the Phantom Thieves leader.”

Before he could muster up a response, the doors of the upper deck open. Entering was the Phantom Thieves themselves. The boisterous crowd fell silent. The only audible sound was Akechi’s dropped plate and him uttering the words “What. The. Fuck.”

Ren spread his arms wide. “We lived, bitches!”

Shido couldn’t contain his seething rage in public no longer. “You motherfucker! You were supposed to be dead!”

“I’m not going down so easily, especially when Japan is in danger of an egomaniac governing it. This country and people have suffered enough.”

Shido shot him a glare. “You inhabit MY country and yet have the audacity to preach to me. As if you didn’t kill hundreds of men.”

“At least I’m upfront about killing assholes and not hide behind some self-righteous bullshit. I’m done hearing you spew garbage out your mouth. Let’s end this.”

Shido snapped his fingers and a group of stylists rushed towards him.

“Is he seriously havin’ a transformation here?” asked Ryuji.

When the stylists disbursed, Shido appeared with a spiked helmet and dressed in a black general uniform with white gloves and white boots. “I’ll make sure to dispose of you MYSELF this time. Lock the doors!”

Almost everyone in the room was armed to the teeth with weapons. As the armed elite pulled their triggers, the Thieves threw down smoke bombs. The room became a cacophony of bullets and pained screams. 

Yusuke effortlessly slashed down his enemies as he made his way towards the upper deck’s window. “Futaba, how are things going?” he said through his earpiece.

Futaba was outside the ship, installing bombs as Sumire covered her from the helicopter. “Reinforcements are getting heavy.”

“I’ll be there.”

Meanwhile, Makoto took care of unfinished business.

“Oh, Makoto! Long time no see. I’m glad your-“

She punched the commissioner in the esophagus with her spiked knuckles. “I have nothing to say to you.” She stomped her heel into his foot and took off her shoe, stabbing him in the eye, throat and chest repeatedly. The gunmen and women backed away in fear.

Ann took advantage of their hesitancy to attack by whipping them and lighting them up with incendiary bullets. A large brute ran towards her head first. She shot at them, yet they didn’t flinch. She rolled out of the way. “Makoto!” 

Makoto slid under the brute’s legs and tripped them. Ann wrapped her whip around their head and Makoto finished them off with a stomp to the head.

Ryuji became overwhelmed by the reinforcements and Shido took this opportunity to finish him off. He lifted Ryuji off the ground by the neck.

“Goddamn Dr. Egghead, since when were you buff?”

“You’re quite jokey for someone whose about to die.”

“You’re quite cocky for a guy who’s about to be kicked in the balls!” Which was what Ryuji did and Shido clutched his balls in pain.

Haru aimed her grenade launcher at the vulnerable Shido. “Ryuji, watch out!” She shot at Shido, but unfortunately, he used the remaining strength in his balls to run away from it.

Akechi watched the chaos from a distance alongside Kunikazu. “She’s actually alive...” said Kunikazu.

Haru slashed her axe and Ryuji bludgeoned their attackers. Kunikazu anxiously watched his daughter down one gunman after another. He attempted to sprint out of his hiding spot. Akechi responded by stretching his arm in front of him. 

“First, you failed to protect my daughter and now you’re stopping me from saving her.”

“If you really wanted to protect your daughter, you wouldn’t have sold her off for some political power.”

He opened his mouth to retort, but nothing came out. 

“I’ll take you to her, but on one condition: Treat her like a human being.”

Kunikazu nodded. “Yes I will.”

As Akechi cleared the way for Kunikazu with his silencer, he saw Ren rushing towards Shido at the top of the stairs, leading to the outside deck. Anger overcame him and he shot at Ren, barely missing a shot to his torso. Akechi stalked towards him with a glare. Ren got his knife and pistol ready.

“Stay out of my way, Amamiya.”

“It’s not too late!”

“Save me that bullshit! You just had to interfere with my plan.” He pointed his gun at Ren’s head. “Your charade ends here.”

“Alright. Try it.” As Akechi pulled the trigger, Ren being the madman he ran headfirst into his stomach. The bullet shot into the air and the gun dropped to the floor. Ren plunged his knife in Akechi’s shoulder. Akechi must’ve been a Terminator disguised as a detective because he took out the knife out his shoulder and then proceeded to choke Ren.

 _Don’t get a boner. Don’t get a boner._ His knife was out of his reach, so he pushed his hand into Akechi’s face, but Akechi’s grasp didn’t weaken. Ren then ringed his cheeks which finally broke him free from being strangled. Akechi then scrambled for the gun. 

“Nah uh, bitch!” Ryuji slammed down his bat on the floor, ricocheting and hitting Akechi in the back. 

He turned around only to have Haru’s axe meet his neck. “Stay down.”

The room was a bloody mess. Bodies in disarray and the floor painted red with blood. Even the food was splattered. Only a few of Shido’s men remained and they were holding on to their last breath.

Akechi bit down on his tongue. “I... surrender.” It pained him to say those words.

Shido watched from the staircase. “I am tired of watching this pity party.” He cocked his gun towards the group. 

“You just gonna gun down your own son?!” said Ryuji.

“Did you really think I was going to keep you alive after all those killings?”

Their blood boiled as they heard Shido basically say that his son was a tool. “You monster!” said Haru.

Shido pulled the trigger, unfazed by the insults thrown at him. “Foolish children.”

Ren tried to move his body to shield them, but he couldn’t. The image of Morgana dying flashed in his head. He needed to move dammit! He couldn’t just let his friends die again. Suddenly, he felt arms encircle him. Haru’s piercing scream filled the room. He looked down to see Kunikazu’s body ridden with bullet holes and bleeding out.

“Father!”

Kunikazu cupped her cheek in his hand and flashed a brief smile before changing into a sullen expression. “I’m... sorry... Haru...” His hand fell to the floor.

Haru clawed her fingernails into the floor until it bled. “You... YOU’LL PAY FOR THIS!” Shido turned his back and walked out onto the outer deck.

More reinforcements burst through the door. “Go kill that son of a bitch! We’ll take care of it,” said Ryuji.

Ren hesitated to chase after Shido. “But...”

“You heard him. Go!” said Akechi. Haru flashed Ren a smile and nodded.

“Thanks.” Ren made his way up the stairs.

“I’m running low!” said Sumire. Sumire and Yusuke tirelessly killed reinforcements only for waves of them to appear seconds later.

“Futaba, now’s the time to act with haste.”

“I know, I know!” She installed the last bomb. “There!” 

Yusuke turned to her. “Good. Take my hand.”

“Wha- Um okay...” As she reached for his hand, an enemy appeared behind. Good thing she had her backup dildo. She swung the dildo at the goon, sending them overboard. Futaba broadcast the information to the others. “Guys, you have fifteen minutes to finish whatever you started.”

“That should be more than enough time,” said Ann.

Sumire spotted Ren and Shido about to duke it out on the outer deck. “Ren’s fighting Shido!”

“Go after him! Leave this to us,” said Futaba.

“Be careful.”

Goons circled around the two. They stood back to back with a katana and dildo in hand.

“Think you can handle this many?” asked Futaba.

“The odds are stacked against us, but we’ll manage.”

Of course, Inari wouldn’t get what she was referencing, but she couldn’t bring herself to be mad because at least he had faith in the two of them succeeding. “Let’s pummel these guys.”

Ren and Shido stood face to face, readying their fighting stances. 

“Oh wait. One second.” Shido took a blue pill that transformed him into a swole body brace wearing freak.

Ren instantly got a flashback to the BDSM club. “Ew ew ewwwwwww!” 

“Let’s end this!”

“Oh my god! Yes! Please!”

Shido punched the floor which made Ren lose his stance. He closed the gap and punched Ren in the stomach, sending him back. As Ren struggled to get up, he coughed up blood. Shido stalked towards him and Ren shot his pistol at him only for the bullets to be deflected.

“What the fuck? You’re literally not wearing a shirt.”

Shido chuckled. “I’ve fucked so many times in this. The number of times I’ve made women came has increased its power and resistance. My influence extends to my cock.”

“I... I’m... What...” Pussy destroyer Shido was something Ren didn’t need to think about in the middle of a life or death battle.

“I don’t need to explain my prowess to you.” He punched the air so hard a gust of wind came directly at Ren. Ren successfully dodged and threw his knife at Shido, grazing his cheek. He jumped over Shido, landed behind him, and shot the lower end of the brace bolts before Shido retaliated with a flurry of punches. Ren narrowly dodged each one. Shido wanted to kill him so bad that he didn’t notice that the rest of the brace was shot off thanks to Sumire.

“Hey, you’re naked.”

Shido looked down, leaving him open to a slash to the neck. He screamed out in pain. 

Ren pointed his gun to Shido’s head. “Give it up.”

“Hmph as if I’ll let you have this that easily.” He grabbed Ren’s arm and twisted it, eliciting a shriek of pain from him.

Suddenly, the unbearable pain went away as Shido’s left arm was cut off by an axe.

“I won’t let you kill my friends too!”

“Haru! You’re supposed to be-“

“I refuse to let you fight him by yourself.”

Ren knew where she came from, but now wasn’t the time to act like the hero against such a dangerous man. “He’s strong.”

“So? Screw him.”

Shido bobbed and weaved every axe strike. Haru managed to inflict numerous cuts on his arm and legs. She swung her axe at Shido vertically. Unfortunately, the axe became stuck in the deck’s floor, leaving Haru open to a kick from Shido. Thankfully, she blocked it in time and took up a fighting stance which Ren mimicked.

“Are you really going to try the same move twice?” Shido huffed.

Shido threw air punches and kicks which destroyed the floors further. Haru and Ren maneuvered elegantly through the damaged flooring. Spinning like ballerinas in midair they delivered a kick to Shido’s temple. Shido took his right arm and slammed Ren into Haru. Shido raised Ren above his head. 

“Tell your friend in hell that I said hi.”

“You cocky fucker!” Ren gouged Shido’s right eye. He was resilient through the pain and choked Ren. 

Haru watched helplessly as Ren was just seconds away from being suffocated. He felt the crushing weight lifted off his neck and his body thud on to the ground. Blood spurted out of Shido’s forehead.

Haru and Ren looked at the source of the bullet which was Akechi. The two were overjoyed by Akechi’s late minute save. “Goro!” 

Akechi walked up to them with a serrated sword in tow. “I didn’t expect you to be the type who needed saving.”

“Eh, it’s a nice change of pace,” said Ren.

Futaba’s voice blared through Haru and Ren’s earpieces to give a final warning. “Two minutes guys. Make it swift!”

They brandished their weapons and stared defiantly at Shido for the last time. Akechi pointed his sword at Shido. “I’ve waited for this day and I’ll make sure you know the pain my mother and I felt.”

“Akechi, please wait! Don’t do this!”

“I am done hearing the shit that comes out of your mouth.”

Their bodies moved on their own. Haru and Akechi cut off Shido’s legs, incapacitating him. Ren readied his knife to finish off Shido. However, Akechi stopped him.

“Finishing him off would be a mercy kill. Let him bleed out knowing that he’ll never own Japan.”

Ren nodded. “Twenty more seconds guys!”

“Shit! We going overboard.” Ren readied himself to dash across the deck, grinning with glee.

“Must you always be so over the top?” said Akechi.

“Can't help myself.” Ren said, winking.

In the distance, Yusuke and Futaba watched from a spare boat upon the ship as the three jumped off while the other Thieves were in the helicopter.

“Yusuke, I-“ The sound of the explosion interrupted her as Shido’s once great ship exploded into a tiny million pieces.

“We defeated Shido for Japan and you. We couldn’t have done it without you.”

She wiped away the tears flowing from her eyes. “We really did it.” After all those years of mental turmoil and tirelessly searching for her mother’s killer, Futaba would’ve never thought her wishes would come to fruition. She felt his lanky arm around her body, pulling her closer to his side. The rumbling of his stomach added to the tender moment. 

“You deserve a big meal after this and it’s on me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The evil has finally been defeated. I initially intended Akechi to kill Okumura and then Haru joins the Thieves at the party, but that changed as I wrote the chapters leading up to this one. Also, I never intended for the Shido fight to sound like a DBZ/MHA fight, but I guess all those years of watching shonen anime came to fruition at that moment. I hoped you guys enjoyed this chapter though! It was such a fun one to write.


	19. Epilogue: With the Stars and Us

The evil was defeated. Japan welcomed the Phantom Thieves back with open arms. Celebrations rung out on the streets with crowds cheering about their valiant efforts against Shido. There was a push to make their proposed movie and TV shows after their victory, but they declined. Rebuilding the Thieves HQ would take some time, especially with the proposed redesign. In the meantime, the Thieves would settle down and pursue other things. Ryuji moved in with Ann and she continued to pursue modeling. The two did Phan Site requests in the night thanks to Mishima. Haru inherited all of her father’s property and decided to use her former house to shelter less fortunate citizens. She moved in with Makoto, preferring the humbler change of pace. And yes, Makoto’s still a disaster who can’t confess to her crush. 

Futaba moved back in with Sojiro to his delight. Ren and Yusuke shared a problem: they didn’t have anywhere to live. Futaba suggested that they live in the attic of Leblanc. Yusuke decided to stay, but only temporarily. Even Haru offered to pay for a studio apartment for him and he refused. Meanwhile, Ren gladly took the attic. It was old and dusty but had a nice charm to it. He decorated the room with a childlike giddiness. Sojiro taught him the ropes of cooking and running a cafe in exchange for Ren helping out in the kitchen and getting the word out. Some nights he thought about Akechi. After that night, he was nowhere to be seen. Ren reluctantly entertained the thought of the Conspiracy offing him to cut loose ties yet another side of him believed Akechi wouldn’t go down without a fight.

Yusuke stayed over for a few nights and brought a covered canvas with him. He swatted away Ren and Futaba like little children trying to peek at their Christmas presents. One day, Ren woke up to find that Yusuke wasn’t on the sofa near the TV. Turns out that Haru and Makoto smuggled him out of the cafe to his new apartment thanks to Futaba letting them in.

However, their victory didn’t come without a few devastating losses. Kasumi’s body was never found so Sumire created a tombstone herself. She insisted on going by herself since she still felt guilty being involved in Morgana’s death. Nonetheless, Ann and the others arrived at the cemetery, placing flowers on Kasumi’s grave.

A memorial for Morgana was erected at Shibuya station where Yoshida used to give his nightly speeches. Fans left flowers and fanart there. Yoshida’s popularity and support exploded as a result of the protests.

The Thieves attended Okumura’s funeral. They were the only people who attended alongside a former business partner of Okumura named Takakura. Haru crumpled her speech. There was no need to sugarcoat her words, especially if barely anyone was in attendance. At the funeral’s conclusion, Takakura approached Haru.

“Miss. Okumura, my condolences. I know this is a difficult time for you between juggling the business and taking care of your emotional health.” He reached into his pocket for a business card. “I’m always willing to help you bring Okumura Foods back to its roots. Take care.”

“Well he wasted no time,” said Ren.

Haru looked at the card and placed it in her purse. “I’ll consider it. Father never considered me as a capable inheritor, but I still learned the ins and outs of business.”

“Haru Okumura, owner of Floof has a nice ring to it.”

She giggled. “Yes, it does. The owner of a company who serves the best quality ingredients.”

The others gave Haru alone time at her father’s grave per her request while Ren couldn’t help but leave her there alone. She set down a bouquet of hyacinths. Her vision became blurry as tears clouded her eyes. She felt hands on her shoulders. She looked up to see Ren and Ryuji at her side. 

The three stood in silence until Haru wiped away the remainder of her tears. “Let’s go back to the others.”

As Ren started his trek to the others, something caught the corner of his eye. He looked out into the distance to briefly see a familiar brown-haired figure. His body nudged him to move towards the figure until he heard Ryuji calling out for him. He glanced back and the figure disappeared.

Makoto requested that the gang meet at Leblanc to discuss something. While waiting for her and Haru to arrive, Futaba peered over one of the booths to see Ryuji playing Crisis Core on his PSP. He missed his chance to level up with the slot machine mechanic. 

“Dammit!”

She whispered in his ear. “Ya know, I got cheats...”

Ryuji almost got whiplash when he turned to her. “What kinda cheats you talking?”

“Easy level ups. All spells broken... toasted... roasted with a special copy of the original Final Fantasy 7.”

“Hell yeah. Sign me up.”

Meanwhile, Sumire devoured a plate of curry. “Another one please!”

Yusuke stared at her in astonishment. “That’s your fifth plate.”

Sojiro brought out a plate as requested. “Where’s your spoon?”

“Oopsies...” Sumire said.

The door chime of the cafe rang as Makoto and Haru entered. “Sorry guys, we got a bit carried away on the way here,” said Makoto.

Haru held up charms resembling the Thieves. “These are so cute. I couldn’t help but get them. Sumire even got one.”

“For real?!” said Sumire.

“That’s my line,” said Ryuji.

“So what you called us here for?” asked Ren.

“I wanted to eat some curry with you guys and invite you with me to Kyoto,” said Makoto.

“Kyoto?”

“My sister lives there. After all that’s happened, I wanted to visit, and I thought it would be a nice road trip for us to enjoy.”

“Oh my god! We’re visiting grandma, guys!”

“R-Ren!” Makoto looked over to Haru giggling. “Anyways, I know this is on a short notice, but I’ll be leaving tomorrow.”

“We ain’t doing anything so that’s good,” said Ryuji.

“Since we’re in a festive mood...” Yusuke finally unveiled his painting. “I call it: Triumph. I took some historic liberties as well." The painting featured the Thieves attacking their enemies. Futaba impaled IT Guy with the dildo. Makoto punched the lights out of Akechi. Sumire stabbed Kaneshiro through the neck while Ryuji and Ann made a bloody mess of the gimp wearing BDSM members and killer strippers. At the top, Haru and Ren landed punches to Shido’s face and in the background an angel Morgana wielding guns while flying up into the sky. 

Ryuji, Ren, and Futaba scanned every detail of the painting. 

“This,” started Ryuji.

“Is,” added Ren.

“Fucking,” continued Futaba.

“Awesome!” They said together.

Makoto had mixed feelings on it but seeing herself punch the lights out of Akechi instantly made it a masterpiece.

The crosswalk of Shibuya was as busy as ever. Ren armed himself with his Clark Kent glasses to avoid his fans. Across from him were the gang sans Ann in a minivan waiting for them. Makoto took the wheel while Haru sat in the passenger’s seat in the front. Ryuji yelled at Ren from across the street. Leave it to him to make a scene, but that made Ryuji Ryuji so Ren didn’t mind. Suddenly, he felt a light slap to his back.

“There you are, champ!”

“Dammit, Ann. My boo boos still hurt.”

Ann locked her arm with his and dragged him to the car. “C’mon, let’s go!” 

Ryuji held up his hands. “Before you berate us… we got an engine problem.” 

Sumire tinkered under the hood of the car. “That should do it.”

As Ren entered the van, he saw an unmarked cop car a few feet away. “Even when you save the country, some people still won’t be convinced.”

“Things must be slow these days,” said Yusuke.

“Don’t worry about them. We’re going to borrow their car plug for a little bit,” Sumire said. Makoto drove off, leaving the police in the dust.

After hours of just seeing pavement and other cars, the group perked up when they saw the sea in the distance. 

“Man, this feels so surreal. I never thought we would be here. Sometimes I ask myself if this is a dream,” said Ryuji.

“Same. I never thought I would meet such amazing people like you guys,” said Ren.

Ryuji instantly turned into a crying mess. “Dude, you can’t be all mushy n shit without warning.”

“But bro, how else would you know that I love you?”

“Bro…”

Futaba opened the car door. “I’m about to “bro” on out of here.”

“No, Futaba!” Everyone cried out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so concludes this wild journey. This weird idea literally sprung up in my head and I'm happy that you guys found it enjoyable as well. Thank you all for your enthusiastic comments. They honestly made my day whenever I read them. I also plan to write a sequel to this based on Saints Row IV. Despite classes and all, I hope to get the first chapter out by the end of the year. And again thank you for reading!


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